Hunter H

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

One day you’ll realize that your mom wasn’t decorating the house for Christmas because she had extra time.

She was doing it because she wanted you to have memories.

The lights. The cookies. The same decorations every year.

All that effort was love.

[Grip Skylark 💕✨ @talleyberrybaby]

before you hit that doordash button i implore you to try a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Sometimes you just need a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

[chase @_chase_____]

a great tip if you’re packing for a trip is to ignore all the clothes you feel comfortable in and wear on a regular basis and instead bring a long velvet skirt you’ve never worn before that’s slightly too small and doesn’t go with any of your shirts or shoes

[Nicky The Good @nickythegood]

I’ve been saying this for 7 years.

It you do not have kids you’ve never been tired a day in your life. You may think you have been, but I assure you, you were in fact, well rested.

[𝕊𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕪 @FromN5_]

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing 😂😂😂

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Why would I drive 10 minutes to pick up dinner when I can stay seated and have it delivered slightly cold for only $38 more

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Back in my day you could go to Walmart at 2:00am and buy a shotgun and a live lobster

[Mamello🧚🏽‍♀️ @MelloFelicia1]

“hey, do you have a second to hop on a quick call”

[Alora💘✨ @Alora4fhs]

Climbing the corporate ladder

[Mike 📺 @michaelcollado]

Opening Twitter is like having a lil phone cigarette

[𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 @homemakinghunny]

The stage of your 3 year old becoming the most argumentative person you know is a trial of motherhood that I was completely unprepared for.

[Elliot @elliot_solution]

Before you sign any document, take a picture of the blank pages too.

People add things after signatures.

This is common.

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

How your boss looks at the open 4:30pm time slot on your calendar every Friday:

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

No one:

Senior leadership: “What am I looking at?”

[9mmSMG @9mmsmg]

You can't stop a baby from crying. You can't reason with a baby. It's not like a misbehaving child. Their ears hurt from the pressure change, and they don't understand why. They are in a new environment and may be over stimulated as well. You can't take the child away like you could at a restaurant.

There is really not much you can do about it. I promise you, the annoyance you're experiencing is nothing compared to how the parent feels, knowing angry childless people are furious at them.

Be an adult and fly with noise canceling headphones or ear plugs.

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

You know what really bugs me these days? We can't own anything. Everything is a subscription service, like literally everything. You can't buy Microsoft Office, you have to purchase a subscription for a year. You literally have to pay for everything FOREVER. Isn't anyone else bothered by this?

[Rach Against the Machine @AudreyHurtburn]

Baby: *does something that is literally the most typical and average thing for a baby of his age to do*

Baby’s grandma: wow he is so advanced

[Adam Karpiak @Adam_Karpiak]

Be a hero. Cancel that Friday afternoon meeting.

[Mistress Dividend @mistressdivy]

I wanna see the Planet Fitness CEO try to cancel their membership.