Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE

Non-target af. Current 2nd year associate. Can be found snaggin blondes at your local dive bar with @ValuedAssociate

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

This barista does not need to give a 5 min explanation to every person in front of me, like let me order a black coffee and move on

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

Atlanta airport is really the only Amex lounge where you’ll see dudes order henny on the rocks with a straight face

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

If you ever externally call me on teams you’re immediately getting blocked. Call my cell like a normal human being

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

@retraderichard Who pissed in your cheerios this morning?

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

@EntrpicCrdnl @i_member_ Yes please, those will fast pass you to the front of the line!

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

Tell me the average age in here is 19 without telling me the average age in here is 19

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

@ACC_Ball_Rules Zero

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

@Kan27111 I’ll still be asleep then

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

No I don’t want to meet for a coffee chat at 7am. As a matter of fact I’m going to blacklist you from our internship program for proposing such a ridiculous time

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

@Jiangfeng_Yu Now that’s how you do it. Guaranteed offer. Take note, kiddos

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

“Our client is located east of the Mississippi” ok Lewis and Clark let’s simmer down a bit now

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

Our newest analyst was walking in a few steps behind me this morning

I turned around and said “don’t let me beat you in”

A look of terror overcame his face

He immediately sprinted around me to make it inside first

I can guarantee he’ll be setting his alarm earlier tomorrow

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

Might mess around and go buy a fake AP on canal st today

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

Game recognizes game

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

@retraderichard and I are going to be ripping west village tonight…. all the single shawties come hollar at your boys

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

@retraderichard Particularly my future lung cancer

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

Part of this year’s bonus was paid in company stock.

I immediately updated my bio to “partner.”

But then I realized I needed to start behaving like a partner.

Microsoft office has since been deleted off of my laptop.

Sent from my iPhone

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

When they asked me what my inspiration was, I told them global warming

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

Why is @retraderichard in my office rn

[Off-Cycle IB Intern, SIE @IBjunioranalyst]

Phebes got the best of the boys yesterday