Ian Sharp

Sub-middling stand-up comedian, former metal vocalist, and present D&D enthusiast.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

Since I'm on a LEGO tear today, here's my take on the Mormon Mafia.

Do I think it exists? Sure. Friends help out friends. Family helps out family. Not a new thing.

I'm from Tennessee and I've toured throughout most of the country and almost every state. Small town "good ole boy" systems are not just a Mormon thing. Plenty of judges are friends with local business owners and will side with them over "outsiders". It's usually a money thing more than anything else.

I've also met a lot of very nice Mormon people and I assume not everyone is a part of some grand conspiracy to help any and all Mormons get away with nefarious behavior.

Just seems like common sense to me.

I don't necessarily agree with the religious aspect, but that's true of any religion. But ultimately if your religion makes you a better, nicer person, I support it. If your religion is your justification for being an asshole, cue Behemoth's "Demigod" on repeat forever.

[DramaAlert @DramaAlert]

Reckless Ben reveals he has been silenced by the courts and cannot post part 3 of his series covering the Bricks and Minifigs allegations.

"I can't post it, or I will go to jail" [..] "I will immediately lose my lawsuit"

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

I wish I was a LEGO collector so my boycott of Bricks and Minifigs would mean something. I'm not advocating for harassment of any local stores or employees, but rather the opposite. Stay far away from there and never go back. That company deserves to rot.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

Short but awesome stream tonight. Wednesday, I slay the Elden Beast and become Elden Lord!

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

Back at it! More ELDEN RING! LIVE NOW!

https://t.co/PWqghpASEY
https://t.co/IcYoUlgTrm
https://t.co/A2Jy867pPX
https://t.co/kDMfZg020U

#eldenring #crashout #twitch #kick #comedy

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

Prepping my next D&D session, and yet again I am reminded of how the team who designs the adventures does not seem to have very good communication with the artist who designs the maps.

Official published adventure, mind you!

The text: "This room contains 6 large creatures huddling around a table."

The map: [Empty 4x4 room, 5 ft squares]

So when prepping my VTT, I have to fit a table asset, six 2x2 enemy tokens, and my four player PC tokens all in this room.

Also, width of the doors of the room? 1 square. HOW DID THOSE ENEMIES GET IN THERE?

I know 5e (and 5.5e) are both "theater of the mind"-first when it comes to how they expect you to play, but in the modern age where most games are online and VTTs become increasingly necessary, idk it would be nice if the "WORLD'S BEST ROLEPLAYING GAME" would give us the tools we need to effectively run the slop they feed us and try to pass off as "pre-written".

I feel like I've had to re-write and re-design every official product from WOTC I've ever run. I know they'll say "That's the point! Make it yours!" but it would be even nicer if I didn't have to on a book that costs as much as these do.

Can't wait to be done with this campaign and done with this system forever.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

@nicholasdeorio Diabolical thumbnail.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

Decided to not go live last night, but that just means I will FOR SURE go live tonight. Time to see what's beyond the Fire Giant.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

Hey Austin nerds! I have a really badass Masters of the Universe board game. Just saw the movie and now I have a primal need to play with toys.

I need more nerd friends here.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

I did it guys. I killed the Fire Giant. I count this among my greatest accomplishments. My band getting played on MTV. Winning a Big Joke Book on Kill Tony. Killing the Fire Giant.

Carve it on my fucking tombstone.

#EldenRing

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

I also have drops turned for Twitch if you want free stuff for watching me.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

Streaming #SummerGameFest today at 4PM CST! Then more Elden Ring after!

https://t.co/PWqghpASEY
https://t.co/IcYoUlgTrm
https://t.co/A2Jy867pPX
https://t.co/kDMfZg020U

#eldenring #crashout #twitch #kick #comedy

[ThePunKing @The_PunKing]

BREAKING!!!

Salem store owners resign from BAM

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

In Chattanooga we have the Broad Street Taco Bell. Moving to Austin, I quickly learned about this Chili's. Does every city have a meme restaurant?

[NBA @NBA]

Comedian Shane Gillis in the house for Knicks/Spurs NBA Finals Game 1 🏆

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

I still tell people I play D&D because of the brand familiarity. I can say that and most people know what I mean. But as soon as I wrap up this campaign I'm running, I'm free! Most of the people I run games for don't care which actual game we're playing, they just want to roll dice and pretend they're in a fantasy land. Games like Shadowdark and Borg games are more my speed for onboarding new players in the shortest amount of time, since I typically play with IRL friends who just want a fun hang instead of dedicated gamers who live and breathe the "D&D" brand.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

@Ch33singiT @nicholasdeorio There are always those people, but that's not the entirety of what I'm seeing.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

This is not a very good joke and I'm not sorry about it.

[Ian Sharp @IMSharpOfficial]

Word on the street is that Joe Rogan will be taking over as host of 60 Minutes.

The name of the show will also be changed to 240 Minutes.