Dr. Grinch

I am not a mean one, and I don’t appreciate the baritone singer slandering me throughout his admittedly catchy song.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@nocontextmemes By the time I actually found that image in my millions of text stickers, the son would have died of old age.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

Just how many innocent bears were butchered in the making of this image under the guise of “science”?

You chopped and grafted them into these grotesque Frankenstein monstrosities, without any care for their welfare.

Now they will have to spend the rest of their lives looking like this.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@arttavana I turned it off once I realized it was not about the libidinous antics of a large, hairy gay man. False advertising!

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@mayordunphy @Marcellushill2 😡

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@mayordunphy @Marcellushill2 Ya, he is.

Judging by my only needed source: the truncated and out of context video clip.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@valuetainment The Vikings have weathered poxes and venereal diseases in the past, and it never broke their martial spirit.

They shall continue their planned raid on the English.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@omgsidewalks Don’t suppress your urge to steal presents and ruin a town’s Christmas morning, because you might learn a valuable lesson about unconditional joy and altruism in the process.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@Hitchslap1 Yes. That is why I have this account muted!

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

This depends on the occasion.

I have actually written a 60,000 word essay on my executive tips Substack about this matter, if anyone would like to read it.

[staysaasy @staysaasy]

Friends, there is nothing that kills your executive presence quite like being long-winded. Literally smelling bad, dressing like a hobo, stuttering like a maniac are all less impactful. I cannot emphasize this enough.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@staysaasy I think it depends on the occasion.

I have actually written a 60,000 word essay on my executive tips Substack about this matter, if you would like to read it.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@RyanYoung824 What a beautifully articulate yet cutting film review, following in the hallowed footsteps of Roger Ebert.

And they say our cultural discourse lacks the intellectual sophistication and poetic refinement of the past ages.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@KiwiFarmsDotNet He was not enough of a https://t.co/YqlvUayjln user to be put on the misc’s Mount Rushmore like Zyzz, but he did embody the spirit of the misc’s lighthearted and absurdist troll humor in his prime.

RIP to this lad.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

Throughout Colombia’s entire WC, I have never seen a team put the ball in front of the goal so many times and miss so many shots.

They remind me of a medieval king that sires twelve daughters instead of a sorely needed male heir.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

SWITZERLAND HAS KNOCKED OFF COLUMBIA IN PENALTIES!

A DATE WITH MESSI AWAITS!

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@barstoolsports Throughout Colombia’s entire WC, I have never seen a team put the ball in front of the goal so many times and miss so many shots.

They remind me of a medieval king that sires twelve daughters instead of a sorely needed male heir.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

I am upset that this will be the last WC with Ronaldo and Messi.

I genuinely like both of them, but I always enjoyed the spectacle of the Ronaldo military dictatorship over the Portugal squad, the constant jeers of Penaldo and crying memes from Ronaldo haters, and the graphics of arcane statistical metrics to assert the superiority of Ronaldo over Messi (devised by Ronaldo fans) that would shame even the most kooky and neurotic medieval alchemist.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@_garrettcharles That is NOT ENOUGH pesto.

The problem with the sandwich is the excessive amount of burrata and the gargantuanly large slabs of tomato, which are sliced more thickly than the hips of Anne Boleyn.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@Saskiaaa_____ That may be, but Haaland should be banned from having a wife.

He needs to be pastured and forced to serve as a breeding stud for blonde Norwegian mares.

His phenotype needs to be preserved.

[Dr. Grinch @IStealPresents]

@ChattaGooner College is a completely unnecessary detour for national team players, who should ideally be on a professional club by that age.

Frankly, we should put them in a panopticon as children and force them to robotically juggle for hours, rather than them learning to read and write.