CJ_KEROSI

Manchester United♥️|| Real Madrid 🤍|| Tutor || Student || Moi University || Chemistry || Mathematics.

[Řõððïę @Its_Roddie]

Haha.. Some nigga on here said that a woman asking you for help is not as serious as a man asking you for help.. Dem akikuomba help, ameweka double chance kadhaa zenye zitaingiana ziingiane.. Mwanaume akikuomba help, most of the time, you're the only one he could think of

[Eric @amerix]

Most people are so broke that they don't know how much KSH 1 BILLION is.

Do you people know what KSH 1 BILLION is?

With 1 BILLION:

You spend 100,000 DAILY for 27 YEARS and FIVE MONTHS.

Why, then, do you accept it as normal when politicians steal 600 billion?

[Lovers’ Guide 💟 @guideforlovers]

Women under 28 marry for love

Women over 28 marry for fear

[Ja Loka @_fels1]

They are complaining that men are not showing up in night clubs to buy them alcohol and then take them home for one night stands. The beating will continue until the morale improves.

[Kipkurui Wilbur 🇰🇪 🇬🇧 @wilber1990f]

Nowadays Traffic Police ni wajanja sana. When they wave you to stop, they just see your confidence while stopping and how you don’t shout mkubwa (plus of course what you are driving) and they switch immediately from asking DL or Insurance to “tuko wawili tu na unaona hali boss”😂

[Eric @amerix]

If you build a house on your private land without a permit from the county government, you will be prosecuted.

County Governments enforce building codes, standards, and public health safety protocols on your buildings, including markets.

Dirty landlords are fined.

[LANDLORD🇰🇪 @bozgabi]

Ukiishi karibu na Catholic church huezi skia kelele. They have harambees na wanachanga hadi 3 million within 2 hrs. Lakini izi zetu za Malaika🤣sasa mbili asubuhi unaskia ribabaaba!!😂😂😂

[LANDLORD🇰🇪 @bozgabi]

Nimerealise Kukula kwa Hoteli as a bachelor ni easier & cheaper than kujipikia, ukichezea Ugali managu kshs 60 for lunch, Na Ugali matumbo kshs 80 for supper. Alafu ulenge breko you will only use kshs 140 per day for food. Kujipikia ni stress juu unaosha vyombo na Gas inaisha.

[Medulla of Lang'ata @Ian_yuko_tu]

Kama umewahi kula bibi/dem ya mtu you understand how sneaky women can be.

[𝐆_𝐦𝐚𝐡𝐧 @Ittsalex7]

Nitumieni kale kapicha ka Face shield, yenye hua mnavaa mkikula tilapia babes 😂😂

[ADRIAN @Adrian_realestt]

Sometimes I have to picture my grandma naked just to hold the nut in for 3 more minutes.

[TurboDiesel @alexmwanzo]

Nlienda kubuy Gari flani Sato they wanted a mill I offered 960 wakakataa
Leo wamenicall ati niaje Leta 950 nikawashow nmekula pesa Niko Na 850
Akasema kuja tuongee 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Kiburi pro max

[Kijana ya fifa @kamzozo100]

Nishaa host morio wangu ..then jamaa akaanza kukula njugu ,sijawahi kosa usingizi ivo

[Owichezzz @PiocheBrio]

Kuna day mzae na mathe kumbe wamekosana na sijui haha. Mimi nikaenda kuomba mathe doo ya sports day akaniuliza ‘huna baba?’ Saahizo mzae amekaa hapo kando

[Dubem 🦅 @DubemEmeka]

I know a guy whose wife was cheating with his cousin (who was also married). He finds out and decides to have everyone over for dinner. Halfway through dinner, he looks his wife dead in the eyes and says,

[Ja Leto @_falsi1ke]

If you are broke and don't have money, rejoice greatly. Because those of us who have money suffer a lot doing calculations.

[MrBlack™ @KE_MrBlack]

But let’s be honest, your soulmate can never be a woman with another man’s child 😂😂 That’s a lie.

[𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐡𝐚���𝐫 @Finehairr_]

You are offered two jobs. Sh 60k in Nairobi or Sh 50k in Mombasa. Advice a young MF where to go

[PreacherKid 🇰🇪🇬🇧 @ItsGregy_]

Ukitoka Nairobi kidogo ndo huwa unajua it's a city for a reason. Nairobi cbd kuna lots of ways ya kurudi na pesa home, punguza tu ego, nunua dust coat, Ingia cbd, believe utakuwa unafunga siku na not less than 3k.

[Eric @amerix]

If you are a teacher, especially in a primary school,

Be very careful when handling children of chaotic single mothers.

Teach them and go home.

Don't even correct them when they make a mistake. Ignore them with their tantrums.

Protect your payslip.