Drewish Space Laser

'Till the break of dawn, yo.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Idk why, but hot sake and Diet Coke go really well together. Like not mixed, but having the DC to sip on between drinking the sake is so peak. I have turned off replies for this post because idc about your thoughts on this.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Done with Walgreen’s bullshit, was waiting nearly 3 weeks to get something filled that I take daily. Went to CVS, they filled it that day. Will never been returning to Walgreens, like ever.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Whichever automotive engineer thought it was a good idea to require that the entire front of the vehicle be removed to replace a headlight, go fuck yourself.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Hadn’t heard our local elotero in about a month and got worried. Finally heard him today, thank God.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

“Sure the taste is deliciously fruity and the shapes are indeed unique but how do the shapes increase share holder value??”

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Bruh does anyone remember when Trix cereal got rid of the fruit shapes and decided to just make them all little pellets of the same shape and size? Shit did not last long. I often wonder how that meeting went a General Mills HQ.

[Creepy.org @creepydotorg]

Nancy Wheeler is basically Rambo at this point.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

I was talking to my boss, and I accidentally confused a marine rated grease called Aquashield with a similarly named lubricant for personal use called Aqua Lube. I doubt you can even get Aqua Lube in 5 gallon buckets unless you’re Diddy. 😩😩

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Imagine working in food service your entire life and then getting married and when saying your vows you just respond with “Heard” to each of your partner’s promises.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Sorry babe, the harem pants stay on while I’m decorating for Christmas. It’s called cozymaxxing, we do a little cozymaxxing

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Cornucopia?? STUFF IT IN THE CORNUCOPIA!!!

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Me explaining to my cat what daylight savings time is and why he isn’t being fed dinner at the regular time.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Weird how we all say that “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” but we don’t realize that “mitochondria” is the plural form of “mitochondrion”, so really what we should be saying is “the mitochondria ARE the powerhouse of the cell”. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

@cmhall23 He ruined Tron 😭

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Once spent a month on a Philippino cargo ship from Yokohama to Honolulu. My one take away from the experience is that banana ketchup is so much better than regular ketchup. I offer no explanation.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

My girl was watching Star Wars: Attack of the Clones with me, shes never seen it. We get to the scene with Yoda teaching the youngling class and she just goes “Wait so who kills all of these lil kids??” And I’m just sitting there like….

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Tolerance is your right to being wrong in my eyes

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

I am not mentally prepared for everyone who is going to be a Labubu this year for Halloween. Oh fuck, there’s gonna be “sexy” labubus isn’t there 😱😱

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Everyone always loves and appreciates beekeepers, but where are my waspkeepers at? I keep trying to imagine what a waspkeeper would look like but it just comes up as “trailer park meth head” in my mind.

[Drewish Space Laser @I_Am_Droot]

Dishonor on you. Dishonor on you and your Labubu too.