Today’s stream might come as a surprise for a lot of people. Xandu reached out to me a few days ago and we privately reconnected. We had a long, honest talk, and he apologized for how things were back then. It meant a lot to me.
He didn't know if he could come back to the public or if he could come back online after everything that happened and that is completely understandable. I wanted to give him a calm and safe space to say hi again and show him that he is loved and feel the support that is still here for him from those who care.
This is not a return stream or anything like that. Just a gentle moment to spend time together. He will not have his POV on, but he wanted to say a few words and just be here for a little while.
Please be kind in chat and let us enjoy this time together
Today was a special day for me. I'm not even sure if burn out is the right word but I’ve been in a slump since the start of the year. I tried my best to hide how bad it had gotten to my friends and dragoons since I thought it will be okay, I will get better, that this will eventually stop. Despite that, months will pass and it was still the same and my living environment started reflecting the mental state I was in. I also started being less social as my social battery was always low, ghosting and barely replying to people and abandoning projects and ideas while just trying to exist. It was getting harder for people to reach me as I looked at my messages and just never had the energy to reply back. The only person that really knew was my manager and I'm really thankful that he did his best to man the ship since while I wasn't in the right headspace, the business side of things couldn't just stop and wait for me.
I kept pushing myself and I just kept going, thinking that things will improve soon but I was disassociating more and more and I never felt well rested despite sometimes sleeping 14+ hours a day. My apartment started getting messier and messier. I have a cleaner that comes in once a month but I would never let her near my closet and bedroom because of how embarrassed I was at the state it was in. The floor was barely visible as clothes, figures, plushies and other random junk were scattered everywhere. There was even a stack of flattened cardboard boxes that was building up since the beginning of the year in a corner. I kept telling myself, tomorrow, you will fix your life and get your shit together but that tomorrow kept being pushed back.
2 weeks ago was a big wake up call for me when I missed my flight to New York for my business trip. I knew at that point that I was a mess and I had to start focusing on self-care and to stop self sabotaging myself. So I made a plan with my manager when I came back from my trip, little steps on how I can slowly improve my lifestyle and productivity. I started off really small such as cleaning my keyboard and replacing my deskmat, little things that improve my workspace until I was ready for the biggest task that was bothering me the most.
Today was finally that day. I got up early and spent the entire day just cleaning my closet, bedroom and the rest of the apartment. I was finally able to see the floor again! I know it's just one problem out of many that I need to fix but I'm still proud of myself. I'm also sorry to everyone that I had ghosted and I really appreciate everyone for being so patient with me. I want to revive some of my projects that I had abandoned and slowly reply to people again but I don't want to overwhelm myself too fast so I hope everyone will continue to be patient with me.
I’m really happy with today, I feel like it’s a small step in the right direction, it’s progress in a long journey of recovery. I feel really good today as I finally have a clean space. Thank you for reading my little braindump, I hope it will help those who need it, to get up and just do something productive today, even if it's something small. Those small steps will eventually add up !
🏆 DOKIBIRD, the Hollow Knight VTuber! ���
I drew & rigged @dokibird's new model!
All toggles are linked to her controller for max immersion!
Just in time for Silksong 🙏! #DokiGallery
Hey! I just want to say that I made a clip of Doc's old handcam stream.
https://t.co/4RBuoIOXoa
She's from V4, and she shares the same mama with doki.
She's also super close to 100k subs, so plz subscribe if you are interested in her ❤️
https://t.co/vQTSl1fFSV
Season 3.5 is about to bring even more heat to the battlefield!
Join fiery streamers as they explore our next chapter on August 1st at 2 - 4 PM PDT! Get ready for exclusive sneak peeks at new season content!
The clock is ticking, and the flames are starting to burn bright - are you ready for Season 3.5? 🔥
Vite Ramen x @dokibird Episode (2/4)
Dokibird wasn't the only tomato... But there's a reason you've never heard of this one.
Dragoons: Every new reference/lore found = 1 entry to winning a full free Dokibird x VR collab set. Post below!
Sign up for early dragoon deals 👇
I am excited to announce that I will be hosting my very first Game Jam with a $3500 prize pool! Grab your dev, artists and writer friends to join!
Submissions will be opened on:
🕐August 2nd @ 5pm pst for TWO WEEKS
⬇️info on the official game jam page at https://t.co/zKTSiZ8s7p