I don’t find anything desirable about someone being unavailable on purpose so that I perform for their attention. being subjected to that is an insult. I’ve never viewed people’s care as a ‘challenge to be won’ - I like it when feelings are known and intentions are clear.
Healthy relationships require a willingness to accommodate another person in your life. Everything can’t be all about you. Everything can’t happen only on your terms. You have to be willing to listen, and meet people in the middle sometimes. You have to make room for another.