𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑

ꕤ⠀ྀ𖥸⠀ིꕥ⠀┊ℰ𝑙𝑓⠀𝑜𝑓⠀ℛ𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑙┊⠀ꕥ⠀ྀ𖥸⠀ིꕤ 𓂃𓂃𓂁❁⠀⠀⠀ ▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭⠀⠀⠀ ❁𓂄𓂃𓂃 ⠀ 𓄺𓄺𓄺𓄺𓄺𓄻⠀⠀𝒮 𝒪 𝒩 𝒢⠀⠀𓄻𓄺𓄺𓄺𓄺𓄺 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𓏨𓏩𓏨𓏩𓏨𓏩𓏨𓏩𓏨𓏩𓏨𓏩𓏨

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord -- that they would be healthy, but that does not seem to be the case.

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

Lindir was still freaked out over that giant frostbite spider. He hoped to never lay eyes on such a horrid creature. That will haunt him for many centuries to come.

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord Hubert the vampiric dark Elf with the small head could not be trusted. Never trust someone with floating swords in a clown-like bodysuit, even if they do share a similar life form.

Legolas was the only healthy Elf. Every other Elf was overweight. He assumed by eating greens --

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf - really start eating better foods. It was terrible when the only thin elf was Legolas.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf - clearly false. Elves were never wasting away. They were constantly on the verge of being known as Fat Elves. They didn’t need to eat but they sure did love to overindulge when it came to food. They were always the fattest things. They looked 5 months pregnant. They should -

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf He thought they could trust Hubert. Hubert the fellow vampire but apparently that was not the case. They were not the type of elves that hung around spiders. They hated spiders.

He had once heard that it was common for most elves to die of wasting disease but that was -

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord He has his most sincere thanks, Lord Elrond.

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

Lindir was featured as “Sexiest Elf Living” and “100 Sexiest People” in a special edition of the Rivendell magazine.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf No, he can’t say that he does. Hm. It was good to know Lindir had been voted most sexy every year, for precisely 400 years. He wasn’t a very old elf. He was doing Rivendell proud.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

Something strange was going on…

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord -- him, but it seems to just be a fact of life now. Lindir was quite fat these days. It is rather shameful for an elf to be fat. They get called Fat Elf when that happens, or other… vulgar names.

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord He hoped to never see Hubert's face again. He felt betrayed when he saw that spider descend from the ceiling. It still haunts him.

Their fat cannot be stopped nor can it be suppressed. He has tried… but it is not possible. He did not know since when Legolas was thinner than --

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf Not their fat but the fat that was located over there.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf - think he was the only one but clearly that is not the case. It was becoming a huge problem, they were becoming obese. He was still trying to think of a way to stop there fat… once and for all.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf They were sending those Mirkwood elves into that horrible place instead. They would not be dealing with Frostbite Spiders or Hubert any longer. It was for the best.

He was slowly realizing the elves of Rivendell were far too fat for far too long. He used to -

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord He cannot answer that, his lord. He was unaware that he did not keep up with Rivendell's magazines.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf Every year? He was voted most sexy that many times? That must be well over 400 years now. Why was he only hearing of this now?

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@ImladrisElf And then he was so mad, he forgot how the elves were fat.

Yes. Elves had been fat for centuries. He was nicknamed the fat elf on many occasions.

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@ImladrisElf - for no good reason. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Thorin Oakenshield was also treated poorly for no reason at all. The Dwarf was terrified and because he was scared those agents began bullying him. It was a team effort, they all ganged up on him.

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@ImladrisElf This was far from over. He would be back. They would regret ever picking this fight.

They took his payment and his belongings without his permission. He wanted that discount and he wanted it NOW! Instead he got his hair pulled as he was dragged down the hall -

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

“It's ugly.” Lindir commented about the evil bald head with the instrument glowing in the dark like a lightbulb. It was rather terrifying, in all honesty. Dwalin was ugly.