𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃

༠༑ༀཿ༶࿆ ༆࿓༵࿔༵༅ ℒ𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑜𝑓 ℛ𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑙 ࿓༵࿔༵༅༆ ༶࿆ཿༀ༑༠ ⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ ༼༜ Ｍｉｇｈｔｙ｜ Ａｍｏｎｇ ｜ Ｅｌｖｅｓ ༜༽ ⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf - not. He wished he knew where they went wrong. What made them Fat Elves?

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf He makes a fine point. He would reconsider trusting his kind. Big heads were one thing but small heads? They could never be trusted. He had never met an elf with a small head. It was unheard of.

No, somehow it was not the case at all. They were obese more times than -

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord -- that they would be healthy, but that does not seem to be the case.

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord Hubert the vampiric dark Elf with the small head could not be trusted. Never trust someone with floating swords in a clown-like bodysuit, even if they do share a similar life form.

Legolas was the only healthy Elf. Every other Elf was overweight. He assumed by eating greens --

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf Of course. He must thank him.

At least he was a 400 year old elf unlike those 60 year old elves promoting face cream. They were far too young to be promoting anything.

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord He has his most sincere thanks, Lord Elrond.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

When Aragorn showed up in Rivendell with his marriage pitch of: “Arwen was all over me! So I kissed her because she was a gay alien. We are super compatible.” Elrond called him a dirty bugger and sent him home.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

Something strange was going on…

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

Elrond was pushing Dwarves around.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

He had no idea Nessie was a woman.

[𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ @TheBargeman]

Bard's telescope eyes sparkle at the world, he's the Dale City Lake-town Nessie.

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

“It's ugly.” Lindir commented about the evil bald head with the instrument glowing in the dark like a lightbulb. It was rather terrifying, in all honesty. Dwalin was ugly.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf - really start eating better foods. It was terrible when the only thin elf was Legolas.

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf - clearly false. Elves were never wasting away. They were constantly on the verge of being known as Fat Elves. They didn’t need to eat but they sure did love to overindulge when it came to food. They were always the fattest things. They looked 5 months pregnant. They should -

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord -- him, but it seems to just be a fact of life now. Lindir was quite fat these days. It is rather shameful for an elf to be fat. They get called Fat Elf when that happens, or other… vulgar names.

[𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐑 @ImladrisElf]

@HomelyHouseLord He hoped to never see Hubert's face again. He felt betrayed when he saw that spider descend from the ceiling. It still haunts him.

Their fat cannot be stopped nor can it be suppressed. He has tried… but it is not possible. He did not know since when Legolas was thinner than --

[𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 @HomelyHouseLord]

@ImladrisElf No, he can’t say that he does. Hm. It was good to know Lindir had been voted most sexy every year, for precisely 400 years. He wasn’t a very old elf. He was doing Rivendell proud.