Just found out my mom keeps her spice drawer organized in a specific order based on a Simon & Garfunkel song that she doesn’t even know the words to other than the line “Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme.”
Incredible
To all those SHITCUNTS who were crying about my ANGELIC TONES last night you ain’t real fans your just IMPOSTERS and if you do have tickets you wanna get rid off I’ll gladly take them off your hands we don’t want the likes of you at our concerts nxt year any way LFUCKING
Hey guys what’s the best way to tell a woman “hey I saw you once and you’re so beautiful I want to build you a cottage where you raise our children while I fish and hunt for us?” But like…super casual?
Being an uncle is sick you just give a 6 year old an extra cookie and it’s like you got an extra mini drunk person at the function letting out secrets like yoooo what?!?! somebody kissed a girl on the cheek already??? Scandalous
Watch this. Watch it again. Face the reality of what you saw. This was an execution. There is a problem within the law enforcement community in this country that needs to be corrected. Swiftly and at the root. May this animal never see another day as a free man.
My 7th grade teacher told me “character is who you are when no one is looking” and I never forgot that. That’s why I’m the worst version of myself when people are around.
I’m a Boy Scout when I’m by myself.