I am the most emotionless person in my family; I often see people react with life and character, and it makes me wonder how the concept of happiness differs for me. I actually don't know how to be happy, it's something that is completely out of my reach, I remember that one time when I was genuinely having fun with some of my past friends, one of the bros in the group was very funny during our gaming session and the way I laughed.. It is something I can never forget, I wonder if I will have the opportunity to feel like that again, even after abandoning everyone I cared about for religious reasons
I've completely forgotten how it used to feel to have someone to speak to on daily basis, I had fun when I was naive but I've grown too mature and it's small talk and favors or nothing
There is something wicked in me, and it has resided within me ever since it fully developed. I can't pinpoint it, but I'm starting to notice it; something to do with how much destruction my ego would leave in its wake if only I had the power. I am a self-aware individual nevertheless, but theoretically, having power over others comes with so much satisfaction. Perhaps I have come to acknowledge my subtle lack of responsibility, especially when I tell myself that I deserve something of significance while in reality, it would be bad for me and potentially for others