Intestinal Bookworms

Arkansan with degrees in English and now law

[Intestinal Bookworms @IntestinalBookW]

🎶Jolene Jolene Jolene JoLEEENE! I'm begging of you please don't take my ham!🎶

J w/ mouth full of meat: fuck off, nerd.

[Paige Kellerman @PaigeKellerman]

Your biggest mistake on trivia night was thinking I didn’t know what a Luckdragon was.

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but skyscrapers are vertical and pools are flat

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

I know it’s become pretty cliche and cringey to talk about at this point but if you’re under like 25 I cannot stress enough how one time Obama wore a tan suit and people spent a week arguing over whether or not it was demeaning to the Oval Office and they were serious about it.

[Intestinal Bookworms @IntestinalBookW]

@lynxgirlpaws He’s also a Quaker, so anything outside of plain oats is exotic

[Hannah @dumbandfunn]

“I never thought I’d see the day in America where reality show participation wins out over being a police officer.” baby that’s quite possibly the most American thing to ever happen

[Today Years Old @todayyearsold]

They sound like a bunch of Marge Simpsons

[VeggieBLT 🌽 Corn @VeggieBLT]

I FUCKING HATE DEX'S DINER WHY IS THERE A RETRO 50'S STYLE DINER IN MY SPACE OPERA WHY DOES HE HAVE THAT AWFUL MUSTACHE WHY DOES HE KNOW ABOUT KAMINO AND CLONES WHY DOES HIS WAITRESS HAVE A BROOKLYN ACCENT THIS IS THE ONLY GODDAMN TIME THIS CULTURAL STYLE SHOWS UP IN STAR WARS

[Intestinal Bookworms @IntestinalBookW]

@TheEdVerse what would happen to the soul of a non-elf who decided to worship the Seldarine? Or a non-dwarf who devoted themselves to Moradin?

[Seagull (Jacob) ✡️ Dragon Man Stan Account @Seagull_Comics]

Pitch for a comedy movie where an actor gets knighted and finds out it actually initiates some ancient role and makes him to join the royal army and fight against evil wizards or some shit. Now real life Idris Elba has gotta duel Merlin to save the UK

[Intestinal Bookworms @IntestinalBookW]

@Admiralappleton His parents are bums that never used birth control gave him a complex

[2joser2loser @joserloser]

They should make hollow chopsticks so you can sip the soup while you eat

[Richie🌻 @ShoujoSalem]

POPEYE YOU CAN'T SAY THAT

[The Ginger Swindler @lilydsmith]

i named our happy hour ‘unprofessional development’ and not a single person giggled. this place is a prison.

[Christian @Tarihc78]

Me walking out of the Lucas Museum of Narrative Art with the Naboo N-1 Starfighter up my butt.

[Sebastian 🦋⚙️ @Cinnabastian]

The backrooms being something that takes from existing things, doesn't understand any of it, then feeds itself with the same thing over and over until it all starts to become unstable with that yellow tint? You couldn't make a better analogy for ai if you wanted to 😭

[まだ面白い @madaomoshiroi]

何回観てもこのシリーズまだ面白い

[microplastics rectifier @facetedcarapace]

God looking upon Adam:

[Intestinal Bookworms @IntestinalBookW]

@KeyJay115 Like, that particular sock is too low for a low sock. It needs to cover the ankle to prevent blisters, so it’s not even preforming the function of a good sock.

[gwen howerton @kissphoria]

L.O.A.F (Lesbians Over Age Fifty) at Houston Pride 1991, courtesy of JD Doyle and Houston LGBT History