I have just done a walkabout New York City and have confirmed my earlier prognostication that 2026 will officially be the horniest spring ever.
I will revert back with birth data in 9-10 months but for now I’ll be eating shishito peppers at Goodnight Sonny’s
@joeroganhq This guy is either lying or a loser. Augmented Reality has been a thing in the military for 15+ years. Maybe not everyone, but certainly special forces / SpunkOps.
Hangover cure:
-black coffee
-drive to your friend’s house because you don’t wanna be alone
-it’s him and his dad and brothers who all played Tight End at Wisconsin
-lift weights in their garage blasting Jason Aldean and Carly Pearce
-their mom comes home with 2 friends and her baddie god-daughter
-help carry the mattress they just bought to the basement and build the bedframe
-grill ribeyes on the patio talking about how grateful you are to live in America
-the mom assigns you and the god-daughter to make a cherry pie in the kitchen
-talk to her like you already know her and find out you’re equally hungover, let her rant about how much she hates nightclubs and how “pathetic” homeless people are, her apron catches on a drawer revealing a Batman tattoo on her back
-she gasps but calms down when you say “secret’s safe with me” in the tone of non-chalant McConaughey
-watch Forrest Gump in the family room
-when everyone falls asleep slip to the basement with the god-daughter and smash on the new mattress, her lack of clinginess after you bust makes you want her to be your girlfriend
-plan a date with her Tuesday night at a fine art museum
-put on “Springsteen” by Eric Church on your drive home and get nostalgic in real time realizing you just lived a top 5 day of your life
Purposefully going to the most war torn region in Gaza so I can get mangled in an explosion and experience my final moments getting a tender handjob from an IDF soldier, preferably a female one