pale ale

giving ppl the confidence to make bad decisions since 98’/ $alexa151

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

Emotionally I’m parked in a Walmart parking lot

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

not my best friends entire fam believing we’re dating
the amount of times i had to explain that i’m 7 yrs older & view him as a brother was astonishing

[AL ANSARI @real_Al_Ansari]

These memes are surfacing faster than the submarine 💀 💀 💀 #Titan

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

we would’ve ended up in the same place regardless.

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

“you seem like a weirdo, we’re gonna get along great”

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

man: i’ll cover your drinks if you do this
me: what makes you think i can’t afford $30?

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

made a joke to this man last night that an android is a red flag
he bought an iphone today

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

you attacked my character while i protected yours.
we’re not the same

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

“[mans] has a good relationship w/ his mother & that’s a con… as a society we have surpassed the need for mothers.”

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

Thread of things Aryn says/does

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

“if i unalived myself rn, y’all wouldn’t even have to redress me for the funeral” after trying on a new outfit

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

handicapped spots are bigger bc boomers cannot park

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

imagine wasting gas just to not even drop off all my stuff 🤧

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

“you’re 50 years old! you should know what hole liquor goes in!”

[haley 🕺 @srirachabender]

the gap in my resume is from when I tried to kill myself

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

@23luvr copious amounts of substance abuse

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

“do pelicans just spawn? i’ve never seen a baby pelican”

[pale ale @ItBeAle]

aryn: i’m positive the stork delivers babies
j: ik this, it was in looney tunes
aryn: that’s the roadrunner

[notes 📝 @n0tesforyou]

being called “my love” is probably the cutest thing, like yes i’m the love of your life, that’s me, say it again.

[☆ Angelita ☆ @pyschodior]

Fuck the bare minimum I want the moon and the stars