SFMax

[AlertesInfos @AlertesInfos]

🚨🇮🇱🇵🇸 ALERTE INFO | Un soldat israélien a ABATTU un bébé palestinien de 7 mois dans les bras de sa mère à Hébron, en Cisjordanie. La famille rentrait chez elle en voiture après une visite familiale. (B’Tselem)

[Louise de Lannoy @LoudL]

C’est au-delà de l’horreur.

De nouvelles données montrent qu’Israël a tué plus de 680 000 Palestiniens à Gaza.

Parmi eux :

[☢️ Lethal BJJ 🥋 @lethalbjj]

Aucun n’a eu l’idée d’aller en amont pour demander de freiner

C’est les même qui disent que des gamins de 15 ans filment tt même des feux

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[SFMax @ItsStarFire]

@JoviaIklutz @zee_noblade Ouin ouin baguette sweep oui oui ça va mon ami

[SFMax @ItsStarFire]

@KeionJ05 Yeah corporate greed and blind consumerism so good, me like people mad cause hehe haha

[ً @redalevislard]

Annuler la seule bonne idee de ton studio depuis des années parce que ca risque de blesser Alice cordier et charlie kirk (en enfer)

[The House that Kami Built @KamitronPTW]

To this day, “What did I ever do IN THIS WORLD to deserve an empty headed fucking dumb fuck like Hangman Adam Page” is still the greatest collection of words strung together by anyone in human history

[SFMax @ItsStarFire]

@JoelPostbad https://t.co/EWjuhKTxqT

[Will Stancil @whstancil]

okay this is an insane moment in human history right here

[scorpy @socpens]

the childhood act of putting on your favorite video game at family gatherings hoping other people see it and think its cool is so wide eyed and wonderful

[SFMax @ItsStarFire]

@blaccmassxx Doctor told me I’ll die if I don’t hear the full version in the next hours

[Alon Mizrahi @alon_mizrahi]

We were never meant to see dead children. It's supposed to be a freak accident that happens once in a community's life and scars it, and gets remembered forever as a shared tragedy. Israel made this an integral part of our daily life

[The Act Man @TheActMan_YT]

MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR

[Mr. Chau @Srirachachau]

We're so cooked lol

[Friendly Neighborhood Comrade @SpiritofLenin]

The first 27 pages, the age is listed as 0.
The first 27 pages, the age is listed as 0.
The first 27 pages, the age is listed as 0.
The first 27 pages, the age is listed as 0.
The first 27 pages, the age is listed as 0.
The first 27 pages, the age is listed as 0.

[im sorry please forgive me @Hxnter89]

@imagesaicouldnt for those who don’t get it:

[Lyra 🔜 Recovery @Celestial_Lyraa]

Steezus Christ will soon be risen