Keyvo

||MUFC™ fan||philophobic||an introvert||a brother|| a son||am that guy

[Manchester United @ManUtd]

Love at first sight 😍

[Alinur Mohamed @AlinurMohamed_]

The husband to former Meru Governor Kawira Mwangaza Murega Baichu has dropp a new song called SIFUNA that should find it's way to the State House WhatsApp group.

[Fact @Fact]

One smile, can start a friendship. One word, can end a fight. One look, can save a relationship. One person can change your life.

[Keyvo @Itskevann]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

[𝗞 𝗔 𝗡 𝗚 𝗘 𝗧 𝗛 𝗘™🇰🇪 @Realkangethe]

Charity Waweru alias Genz Baddie cooking genz betrayer kasmuel on a live TV. Roseline Alionya and other gens on government payroll are hiding their faces. Ni aibu sana kukaa kwa tv ukisifu uongozi wa fake hustler from sugoi, kasongo ukijua ukweli umelipwa😭💔

[Fact @Fact]

Life becomes more meaningful when you realize the simple fact that you'll never get the same moment twice.

[Eric @amerix]

Men are full:

• Full of unpaid bills.

• Full of frustrations.

• Full of failures.

• Full of symptoms.

Be graceful to men.

They deserve peace of mind.

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

My friend just started a job fixing ladders.

Looks like he’s working his way to the top...

[Bruno Fernandes @B_Fernandes8]

how can I assist you? ☕

[Eric @amerix]

A man can be seated next to you, smelling of perfume, polished shoes, clean shirt, and inside him there is a whole funeral service happening.

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

What do you call a short mother?

A minimum.

[Yator Boss☚ @Bossyator]

Once the KDZ number plate series runs out, we will have very good number plates on our roads like KEG 500L.

[Frantz Fanon @waweru]

You’ve got to admire the sheer chutzpah of African govts in using first world technology/techniques in taxation/extortion of the citizenry but applying 10th world standards in service delivery …🤔🤔😭😭😳😳😳

[Willis Evans Otieno @otienowill]

SHA software cost 3 Thika Roads , yet patients still can’t get basic care. Priorities are completely upside down.

[MR KIMM™🇰🇪 @MrKimmKE]

Just a reminder: MPESA is the most expensive payment platform in the universe. That's why it hasn't been accepted anywhere on this space rock except Kenya.

[Maverick Aoko @AokoOtieno_]

That boy who planted 2,400 trees or is it 24k in 24hours,

Did more for the Environment, than the Girl who dry humped a Tree while wearing one panty for 72 hrs (gross violation of coochie)

But you won't see that boy being invited to State House or hyped by media

Gender my ass!

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

Where do maths teachers go on vacation?

Times Square

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

Sisi watu wa downtown don’t have the luxury of showering together with our lovers kwa bathroom. Ni vitu huwa tunaona kwa movies and we’ve made peace; tutaenda mbinguni without experiencing it.

Shower head zetu ni zile low quality; ukiingia kuoga ni kama kuweka bet pale SportPesa—either ufaidike ama ikumalize kabisa.

When one partner is showering, mwingine anazunguka hapo karibu na switch just in case wire zishikane and you are converted into live earth wire.

Universal signal ni nduru; ukipiga, Bibi anarukia switch, then anafungua mlango kukutandika na mwiko just in case Kenya Power imekataa kukuachilia.

[Dr. Ekuru Aukot @EAukot]

Wakenya wenzangu, hamjambo? Kama hatutakunywa mafuta kwa bei nafuu, wacha tukunywe tear gas ya bure hapo Tuesday 21, April 2026. Ama vipi?
#Rejectthefuelprices

[Muriaso @muriaso]

Kamande wa Kioi has released a new song 'tutitui no nitui' meaning we know who we will not elect but we don't know who we will elect. The ground has decided it's wantam and there is no escape route for William Ruto😂Hii ni moto sana