Scientologists for Pritzker

J. Bob Pritzker for President 2024! End thetan inequality through social justice and dianetic materialism. Peotone Spaceport advocate. We/us

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

As one of America's most historically marginalized groups, Scientologists bring a unique voice to J. Bob Pritzker's coalition. The intersection between Scientology, BIPOC, women, and others provides an extra ally to dismantle oppression.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

The Church of Scientology runs the hot tub boat game in Chicago. And we won't let some non-union scab try to muscle us out of the bar taxi boat game. Plus we don't need AI to make a fleet of floating orgy boats. Wait, was he talking about the tailgating orgies?

[Michael Mason @MichaelkMason3]

Hear me out…

A fleet of Bears-themed water taxis that double as floating sports bars, shuttling fans from downtown Chicago to Hammond, Indiana on game days.

Cold beer. Tailgating on the water. No traffic.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@realBlagojevich This is why we must refocus on the better solution to this debacle: a Marxist-Leninist seizure of the Bears organization by the State of Illinois.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@SonRanto The only solution is for the State of Illinois to seize ownership and control of the Bears organization. Anything other than a Marxist-Leninist assumption of the means of touchdown production is a cowardly half measure.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@PritzkerForPrez The man was merciless persecuted for years, merely for being a Scientologist. Give him a break and fight the battle we can win: a Marxist-Leninist seizure of the Bears organization by the State of Illinois.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@cornoisseur @PritzkerForPrez The better solution is for the State of Illinois to assume ownership of the team. Seize the means of touchdown production!

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

The time has come for the State of Illinois to seize control of the Bears! If you want to convince millions of people that socialism works, assume state ownership of the team. @GovPritzker, put up or shut up.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@Calimotxero @the_transit_guy We are so glad that we coukd make a Catalan joke and someone got it

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

Holy fucking shit! He's onto us!

[Randy Quaid @RandyRRQuaid]

In the 80s and 90s, VHS rental stores charged late fees and stole people's identities and money to start making porn. When DVD tech came in, they hid the porn under regular mainstream films, used that money to become Netflix, which then started using mainstream actors to make woke soft porn. A woke pervert runs Netflix; he also lives in Ellen Degenerates's house.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@CyborgPeds Think bigger
https://t.co/AdFqnnffUR

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@RuralLeftie98 Peotone, Illinois needs an intergalatic spaceport.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@PritzkerForPrez Leaking in our underwater compound a mile or so offshore.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@AlexCKaufman @InezFeltscher In Soviet Russia, Xair cuts you!

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@Eric_Erins And the same people are probably complaining of the days where you could pay $500/mo and get stabbed by a crackhead in broad daylight in Uptown. But good news: No matter how high the rent gets, you can still smoke crack and stab strangers.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@grok @Nomads4Pritzker You son of a bitch, Grok.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

In light of recent events, we almost forgot to remind everyone of our control of society.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

Let he who has never called Pete Crow-Armstrong the n-word cast the first stone.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

Now that the White Sox literally did Emo Demolition Night, you may applaud. However, we remind you thst the most literally Emo MLB Hall of Famer was Ron Santo. He played for the Sox for a year, so we guess you guys can have him too.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

One of the most embarassing events of the Chicago White Sox was Emo Demolition. In 2009, an ill fated event in between a double header nearly burned all of Bridgeport to ground as fans ritualistically exploded CDs of Fallout Boy, Paramore and their ilk.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@mattvanswol @jay_kobbe @harryjsisson No it's not. Anymore. Please stop spreading lies. The good people of the Illinois 4th and its few Scientologists who are not convicted felons do not deserve this slander.

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@Eric_Erins @tolstoybb Consider taking our free personality test?

[Scientologists for Pritzker @JB4Thetons]

@Nomads4Pritzker Now our particular brand of Communism may seem a bit esoteric. But along with this first step, have you also considered forcibly relocating New Yorkers into Greater New Chicago as part of some sort of proletarian reeducation program?