JDB

[JDB @JDBooie]

tha feeling she makes me feel *deep breath* I neva felt before

[grovy @grovymango]

I love elephants . If there was an elephant in the room I would not only address it I would also give it a hug

[bleet @lilbleetbitchh]

apple you can heat this phone up all you want im not upgrading this phone!

[Karl Schamotta @Karl_Schamotta]

Someone just pointed out that—almost unbelievably—this is real footage from a fight in which the Canada goose ultimately prevailed over the eagle: https://t.co/wLQ6O7ccqf

If this isn't a metaphor for US trade policy, I don't know what is.

[íllen @sk0okum]

Didn’t realize “hacking a dart” was a Canadianism until I said it to an American and got a blank stare back

[steven @mynounswentpro]

*trying to sound cool ordering a drink*
yeah give me a coke and just jack all over it

[W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94]

One of my biggest socialist stances is that professional sports teams should owned by the states and or the local municipalities, similar to like Green Bay.

[JDB @JDBooie]

@BrittanytB Benefit of the doubt? Maybe she just really loved Degrassi: Next Generation on the CBC?

[Edward Gibbon @EdwardEGibbon]

Once Trump has managed the easy stuff, like defeating Iran and reopening the Straits of Hormuz, he can move on to the trickier policy goals, like forcing the Québécois to speak English.

[David Gura @davidgura]

Prime Minister Mark Carney, in a speech the morning after U.S.-Canada trade talks collapsed:

[Lacy ☁️ @lacerly_]

My fave part of Canadian culture is the fact that we will shit on the French like there’s no tomorrow, but don’t you dare let us catch you doing it

[Rads @_radsy]

[being chased by killer]

ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*

[JDB @JDBooie]

I am very good at flagpoles

[Headquarters @HQNewsNow]

Trump: This is a great flag pole. It's tapered. It's not a straight up and down job. I'm very good at flagpoles

[alice 🖤👻 @AIicro]

isn’t clitoris that big red dog?

[Kyle 🚄 @KyleTrainEmoji]

Do you think a little country like The Bahamas is harmless? Think again. "Bahamas" is actually Chinese for "Eight Hamases"

[paige @BonerWizard]

Preparing to tell my dentist that I haven’t really flossed at all since my last visit but I’ve done a lot of other things I’m really proud of

[AEVØN ™⚡ @fwaevon]

The "pizza delivery" that used to cost $15 total now costs $35 after fees, tip, and "service charges." The pizza is smaller, the driver makes less, and a tech company takes 30% for providing an app. You're paying double for a worse product while the workers get screwed.

[Frank Conniff @FrankConniff]

The Air Force One catering cart story has proved conclusively that for all his hateful transphobia, Trump would have been the first one to dress in women’s clothing for a spot on a Titanic lifeboat.