Rads

Everything in moderation, except for snacks.

[Rads @_radsy]

[being chased by killer]

ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*

[Rads @_radsy]

who called it a food offering and not a snackrifice

[Rads @_radsy]

GIFT HORSE: …

DENTIST: …

[Rads @_radsy]

meet the elite couples breeding to save mankind

[Rads @_radsy]

ME: gotta run, guys! I have a date with destiny

DESTINY: ... oh... you thought this was a date..?

[Rads @_radsy]

VAMPIRE: can I come inside

GIRL: i’m not on birth control

[Rads @_radsy]

while you were huffing and puffing and blowing the house down i was deceiving a little girl into trusting in me as a beloved family member. we are not the same

[Rads @_radsy]

inside of you are two wolves. they love each other very much. now they have puppies! inside of you are, like, five wolves!!!

[Rads @_radsy]

call me curious george the way i be upside down jacking on my johnson

[Rads @_radsy]

ME: god I love how you feel inside me

SURGEON: why is she awake

[Rads @_radsy]

A boy at school tells me I’m looking like a snack. I plead with him to take it back, but it is too late. My teachers huddle around me with a bloodthirsty look in their eyes.

“D I D Y O U B R I N G E N O U G H
T O S H A R E”

[Rads @_radsy]

started being conscious of what I eat and decided to limit myself to one snack a day

[Rads @_radsy]

John. Jacob. Jingleheimer. Schmidt. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony—

[Rads @_radsy]

@official_throne @japanhaul https://t.co/IxesHpp4aK
ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

[Throne @official_throne]

🎉Throne x JapanHaul Giveaway

❄️We're gifting 2 lucky winners JapanHaul holiday gift bags!

To Enter:
Reply with Throne link + RT
Follow @japanhaul

⌛You have 72 hours

[Rads @_radsy]

SAILOR: aye, we’d better be careful. Davy Jones loves swallowing seamen.

DAVY JONES: *rising from his watery grave* can you please say it ANY other way

[Rads @_radsy]

@JarCat LISTEN I AM A LATE BLOOMER OK

[Rads @_radsy]

heeeeeeyyyyy so none of you guys have connections to rebecca sugar right....? right?

[Rads @_radsy]

[The Odyssey except everyone is a dog]

SIRENS: awOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOooooOOOOoooo

ODYSSEUS: *furiously tugging on leash* aawwwOOOOOooooooo

[Rads @_radsy]

therapist: *holding a gun to my head* SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT YOURSELF

me: *reaching for the trigger* JUST DO IT

[Rads @_radsy]

Hot tip for dog owners:

Be on the lookout for "whale eyes." If your dog has whale eyes, this is BAD SIGN. That is not your dog, it is a whale pretending to be your dog and you are in IMMEDIATE DANGER