JGT

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

I am officially nominating Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) for the Nobel Peace Prize.

No President in History has ended the same war so many times.

Our Dear Leader has ended the war with Iran at least 38 times by CNN’s count.

No President has ever done this before.

And he is nowhere near finished ending it.

It’s a record worthy of the Nobel committee’s recognition. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

[Jules “Hairy” Armpits @iraqismoker2]

23 years ago today Kobe Bryant refused to take no for an answer in a Colorado hotel room. #MambaMentality 🔥🔥🔥

[JGT @JGT2799]

@RealJimChanos A bit tongue-in-cheek, but there’s a certain consistency to it: the underlying funds trade at a discount, reflecting their underperformance, while the management company trades at a premium, reflecting @BillAckman's ability to keep raising capital despite that underperformance

[͏͏͏𝐉𝐚𝐲 ⌖ @cagiago_]

The Ghanaian witch doctor seeing Harry Kane miss an open goal from 6 yards out

[Tom Holland @holland_tom]

So rude. I’d hoped he would enjoy talking about Harald Hardrada…

[k🎱 @crtfydyapper]

😭😭😭

[~clxtch @ney2maa]

This is still one of the funniest pictures of all time 😭

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Dear Joe,
I wish I could sit down with you face to face and explain why so many of us were offended by the UFC fight on the South Lawn of the White House.
For me, it had nothing to do with the UFC or who showed up for the fights. The brand you and Dana have built is a bona fide American success story. More power to you. As for the fighters, in my book, anyone brave enough to put it all on the line in the arena is remarkable to witness. Their dedication and discipline inspire me. I don’t understand anyone who can’t admire that.
And as for the people who attended, I, for one, love Shane Gillis. I think he’s hilarious and brilliant. It was a show. A once-in-a-lifetime spectacle. I can’t blame anyone for wanting to witness it firsthand.
My problem is that I believe some of our public spaces are sacred. And unlike many of the great powers that came before us, these American monuments belong to all of us. Not to whoever happens to hold power at the moment.
The White House does not belong to Donald Trump. It does not belong to any President. It belongs to the people. To treat it as Caesar treated the Colosseum is antithetical to everything our founding fathers fought for.
This is not Rome. Presidents are not emperors doling out bread and circuses for the peasants. The White House is the People’s House. This “celebration” could have happened in any stadium within a stone’s throw of the South Lawn. No one would have had an issue with it.
But that was obviously Donald Trump’s whole point. By holding the event on the South Lawn, what he was saying to the rest of us is:
“This is my house. I own it. I will do with it what I please. I’ll build a colosseum and have the gladiators fight under my gaze. I’ll tear down the East Wing. I’ll pave over the Rose Garden. I’ll cover everything in gold and marble. I’ll erase the names of all the men who came before me.”
The fights were an exhibition of imperial domination, not a celebration of our 250th anniversary as a democracy.
The White House is not Buckingham Palace. It is not the Palace of Versailles. It is not the Forbidden City of Beijing. It does not belong to an emperor, or a king, or a commissar.
The White House belongs to us. All of us. The person who sits behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office is nothing more than an honored guest. A temporary caretaker.
The President is our servant. Not our Caesar.
Respectfully, Hunter

P.S. Cage match between me and Don Jr.? Your call on the venue. Anywhere but the South Lawn.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

What a rotten deal we made with Iran. We get nothing (except laughter at our stupidity). They get everything, including delay and big cash!

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Iran was on its last legs and ready to collapse until the U.S. came along and gave it a life-line in the form of the Iran Deal: $150 billion

[peepeepoopoo @DeepDishEnjoyer]

devs did a great job pumping their tiny float shitcoin

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Iran never won a war, but never lost a negotiation!

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a warehouse store. A fully roasted chicken costs five dollars, the raw chicken beside it costs seven, and I stood between them like a man between two truths.

Golden. Hot. Seasoned. Spinning in glory under the lights, in a line of its brothers. Four dollars and ninety-nine cents.

I checked the raw birds. Seven dollars. Pale. Cold. You must do everything yourself.

This is not commerce. Commerce does not move backward. Somewhere in this building, mathematics lies defeated.

I asked the man at the counter. "How is the cooked bird cheaper than the raw bird?"

"Been five bucks forever. They keep it that way."

"But the store loses."

"Yep. On purpose."

On purpose. I held my receipt with both hands.

In my land, a lord who lowered the price of rice in a hard winter was remembered for generations. They built him a small shrine. This store does it every day, with chicken, and tells no one.

A woman behind me grew tired of my reverence. "It's just a chicken, sir."

It is not just a chicken. It is a wound the merchant takes on purpose, so that anyone, on any day, with five dollars, eats like a lord. The bird is the message. The price is the vow.

I will confess: I bought two. I did not need two. The second was not hunger. It was gratitude, and it was delicious.

Some prices are not prices. They are promises.

I return every week now. I take one bird. I bow toward the deli, briefly, so as not to alarm the staff. They have begun nodding back.

The vow holds. The bird turns. Five dollars.

Long may it spin.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Robot James 🤖🏖 @therobotjames]

Japanese man discovers unlimited chips and salsa

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Just saying…

No Democrat has won the White House this century without a Biden on the ticket.

[Clemente @clementetv_]

The average Claude Mythos user be like

[JGT @JGT2799]

@INVESTMENTSHULK That's incorrect. Benfica have an eagle that flies around the stadium every home game.

https://t.co/NyWc5qrzk0

[Mikel Artetxe @artetxem]

Brilliant idea! Next up: Apple randomly reboots your Mac if you're building competing tech, Gmail silently edits your email if you mention rival platforms, and Tesla Autopilot swerves if it detects you're working on self-driving cars.

All in the name of safety, of course. Because malicious actors controlling the world’s operating systems, inboxes and cars would be extremely dangerous!

[2001 Live @25YearsAgoLive]

Enron executive Lou Pai completes the sale of 340,000 shares of Enron stock, cashing out $250 million and formally leaving the company. His reasoning is unknown.