JLawHotBodGuard

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@The_Kyle_Mann @TheBabylonBee I still don't get it. :-(

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

so Chris Martin is your bf #JLaw but must we listen to #Coldplay ALL freaking day? wish you were dating #DaveGrohl

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@Latina_Suga @WendyWilliams we met at church

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

what a barista writes when #JenniferLawrence walks in with oversized sunglasses and a big hat on OOPS! #JLaw

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

here's PROOF of #JenniferLawrence obsession with being lint-free! I swear she owns like 50 lint brushes SO CUTE #jlaw

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

add "lint-brusher" to my ever-growing list of duties. seems #JenniferLawrence is obsessed with not having lint on her backside lol #JLaw

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@RubyRose looks like you're gonna need a bodyguard soon, just so ya kno' i'm free on tues/thursdays

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@AmandaJuneBell your readers would love my parody account...

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@lisacfogarty @bustle Gacias SO funny!!! u need to cover the Blue Steel battle between me and Derek coming soon

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@lisacfogarty a great follow-up to your HILARIOUS Bustle article would be one about my parody account...!

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@Gabbie LOL EXACTLY.

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@Gabbie just you so far. most are 300lb unshowered acne-ridden adolescent virgin males

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@Gabbie if more of her stalkers looked like you, my job would be PERFECT...

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@Gabbie to paraphrase Shakespeare, "I am the GOD of her idolatry..." Yes a bodyguard fluent in Shakespeare WHATTTTT

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@Gabbie well if u ever decide to stalk #JLaw let me know and I'll be sure to manhandle you real good if u get 2 close

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@theestherlee kind words Esther! some great follow-up story ideas on my twitter will have you ROFL like my BLUE STEEL

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@Gabbie you make my fake heart go all pitter patter with your sweet sweet words....

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@Gabbie your wish for a parody account for JLaw's hott bodyguard is REAL......

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@JAndriakos loved the article on me, THANKS! you should check out my twitter, it's LMAO-worthy and would make a GREAT follow-up story!!!

[JLawHotBodGuard @JLawHotBodGuard]

@JLawFansClub I have that SAME pic as my screensaver NO WAY