JOEL GODARD

CREDITS: ANNOUNCER, NBC/”LATE NIGHT With CONAN O’BRIEN,” ALL 16 YEARS, ALL 2,725 SHOWS, INCLUDING 331 ON/CAMERA COMEDY SKETCHES.

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

If they outlawed Sodium & Sugar, a grocery store would fit in a Volkswagen van.

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@joncoopertweets A baby born today won’t live long enough to see him learn how to spell it.

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@HCraigBlue @rhtunstall Well, fancy that!

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@Phil_Lewis_ Face it. Morons vote for morons. Always have, always will.

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@NoContextBrits I can think of 2, but you wouldn’t want Little Johnny to recite them at Sunday School

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@Acyn By God, YOU tell’em❗️

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@1goodtern @Nek0Noir Answer: (8 Minutes of uncontrollable laughing)

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

Apparently, Tutankhamun was just the first Boy King

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

Maybe a bunch of REDACTED shit on your next Tax Return. Let’s see how that goes…

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@josearroyowrite Look again, can’t hoit

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

Hi, Don, what’s new?

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

“We have no words for speaking of wisdom to the stupid. He who understands the wise is wise already.”

― Lichtenberg

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

Before going after Contraception, why doesn’t Clarence Thomas remove the scourge of anyone moaning during sex?

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

Ukraine needs a group of GURKHAS near the front lines-Turn’em loose, go to bed, check next morning. The terrorism-quality, grisly, but entertaining reports will raise hairs on a FROG’S neck!
Just ask the WWII Germans & Japanese.
Poor enemy. Oh, word’ll spread like lightning.

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

Fladeemer Putin == Idi Amin with much paler skin, far less beef, similar Ego & methods. Too young to remember Amin? Look him up, but not while you're eating.

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@bibekum Only reason we ever HAD a TV, until I was 15, was because Mama won it at the Pontiac place.

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

HORSE Deworming Drug?! Hell of a lot easier just to get the Vaccine, and you can FORGET the SIDE EFFECT you were hoping for...

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@JoeNBC Figures

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@Angry_Staffer For God sake, don’t TELL him…

[JOEL GODARD @JOELGODARD]

@ArvinsHouse @ConanOBrien As a lady on here said first, “What a wonderful opportunity for Natural Selection!”