The Royal Report

Your daily dose of alternative Johnson facts, news stories, and bow ties.

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

BREAKING: In light of recent success of ExtendEd program, Johnson University opens 5th campus at Knoxville Chick-fil-a.

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

Weatherly Humbly Denies 2017 "Person of the Year" Title

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JUST IN: University Responds By Updating Core Values

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OPINION: Opinion Only Matters If Wallet Is Thicker Than Bible

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Just In: University In Talks With Possible New Campus

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Steve Harvey to Announce next Week's Chapel Awards Ceremony

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

Freshman "Seriously Disappointed" After Flying In His Date For Johnson University "Homecoming"

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

CCU Competes With Johnson By Adopting New Slogan:

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

Weatherly Humbly Denies 2017 "Person of the Year" Title

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

Recent Construction Reveals Johnson's Ant Problem Bigger Than Originally Expected

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

HISTORY: Johnson University Founded On Faith, Prayer, Work, And Frisbee

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Gally Mistakes Breakfast Is "The Most Important" Meal Of The Day with "The Only" Meal Of The Day For The Third Time This Week

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

Bill Wolf Offers Students Chapel Make-Up From Sewer Grate Begging Them To "Take It"

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University Chef Willing To Pay Literally Anybody Five Flex Dollars To Work For Cafeteria

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JUST IN: Bill Wolf's Beard Ascends To Heaven Mid Prayer

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UPGRADE: Gally Invests In Cups That Don't Stick Together

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Hear Ye, Hear Ye: Professors Announce Jousting Duel For Title "Dr. Gorman"

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Report: N.T. Wright Unfamiliar With Johnson University Handbook

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

UPDATE: Weatherly Will Teach Class On "Fake Nu's" This Semester

[The Royal Report @JURoyalReport]

UPDATE: Incoming Freshman Confused Genesis Weekend Might Not Be A Literal 6 Days