JMD 🐍

[brandon* @brndxix]

make sure you open that bitch up on sundays from here on out @ChickfilA

[#LTB @_shawtyriri]

Y’all go vote bruh it’s cut waters, Don Julio, and lemon pepper wings at the polls bruh that’s what the people saying

[bbs @BurritoBrosShit]

I would pay money to watch Ernie, The Jet, and Chuck do election results.

[Big Timi @OrevaZSN]

I’m struck by how many people don’t pay attention to the sky. It’s literally a pleasure to see the clouds, the stars, the sun, and the moon.

[Kσηrαd ♱ @Konraddin]

Asked my wife if she wanted to watch a show on Disney+ with me later and she was excited and said yes. She doesn’t know yet that it’s Monday Night Football.

[Sports Central @CarmeloJreal]

That brother on top is still scoring😭

[Poker Perry @PokerPerry1]

halloween at 25 years old. last time it’ll be on a saturday. this is it. its over after this.

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

The thing about Halloween is it makes everything more fun. I saw a guy getting a speeding ticket and that’s usually not fun but he was dressed like Super Mario

[redrum @griffisu]

hey dude thanks for matching my exact speed in the left lane after i merged on the freeway that was sick bro have you ever seen an unregistered firearm

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

Remember, Halloween isn’t until tomorrow. If you go out tonight and see a vampire or skeleton, you shoot them with a gun.

[aeter @fuckaeter]

Wingstop CEO goin to hell for tryna sell niggas sour patch chicken btw

[DRE ⚡️ @DRESPITFACTS]

clocks go back next weekend, hopefully back to when we were kids because fuck this

[khyote @0pinion83d]

if I tell you a fun fact & you look it up & I’m wrong I’m beating the shit outta u

[Gustavo Fring @zone6nova]

Nah the moon been pretty as hell last 3 days

[PERVERTBALLMASTER3000 @snqped]

Id be a worthless deadbeat bee bro Id be in the hive all day playing with my stingaling

[Yuvraj @yuvrajtwt]

16 minute into a cooking video and this mf introduce an ingredient he overnight soaked marinated and refrigerated

[Andrew @RuRuRunIt]

I think for my birthday this year I’m going to rent out a karaoke bar and invite everyone and then I will perform for a full hour and nobody else is allowed to sing.

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

Ah the first False Fall of the year. Southerners gleefully donning cardigans and light jackets as we rush out to greet the autumn morning with a gleam in our eyes. “I can almost see my breath!” I say, blowing into my cupped hands. Knowing in my heart it will be 87 on Thanksgiving

[Chuck Strangers @Chuck_Strangers]

Easiest way to say no to someone is to add playa after “nah playa” it’s like i denied you but at least i called you a playa

[bean smoothie™ @beansm00thie]

That's it dude you're clearly on that good kush and alcohol I'm leaving