Jacob Brown

i really like italian dressing

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

bro italian dressing good as hell

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

I will trade 12 bottles of italian dressing for tickets to Little Women. I am genuinely so hyped. Can’t wait for a romantic cinema date w/ my italian dressing.

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

Today I realized some things:
• italian dressing has feelings so maybe consuming a whole bottle of it isn’t cool... but who cares?
• i am about as dense as the density of italian dressing x 34.6
• life sucks without italian dressing—but we all already knew that

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

@LucyUnzicker13 Can you add an option for inchresting?

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

scholastic bowl + italian dressing = some real good shit

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

I wish a girl loved me as much as I love italian dressing.

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

@momaher42 Is it 80 miles from Santa Fe?

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

walmart should have an aisle dedicated solely to italian dressing. why? because.

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

At this point, I’d rather sell all my italian dressing than go to work.

And I will never ever sell my italian dressing.

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

everyone always talkin bout climate change ‘n’ stuff

let me tell you—if the world was made of italian dressing then there wouldn’t be the need to discuss that

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

italian dressing + italian dressing = literally more italian dressing

math is awesome

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

bro why isn’t there a store that sells only italian dressing

i think i found my life goal

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

morton pumpkin festival?
please, pumpkin is gross
italian dressing

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

are you even truly american if you don’t watch Forrest Gump twelve times in a row and drink a glass of italian dressing after a long day of work

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

I don’t need friends, I have italian dressing

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

whenever i’m sad i just think about italian dressing and then all my problems go away

[Jacob Brown @JacobBrown2021]

ever had italian dressing? it’s pretty good, y’all should try it.