I'm From State Farm

You are what you eat, so they call me an ass.
2018 Dodge Ram 2500

[I'm From State Farm @JacobGuatemalez]

@deepazzz_12 just said, and I quote
"but my neck game weak tho" in response to being told we have a tornado drill soon

[I'm From State Farm @JacobGuatemalez]

LllNintendo Announces Female Characters Will No Longer Be Able to Drive Mario Karts Following Saudi Arabia Investment https://t.co/xyTtLx5tqm

[I'm From State Farm @JacobGuatemalez]

@hoban_paul @OnlyFansPostinL Looks like hinge, there were alot of girls trying to make a sale when I used it.

[I'm From State Farm @JacobGuatemalez]

@Savag3soph Added me twice as well. Don't know what's up with that.

[I'm From State Farm @JacobGuatemalez]

@757_Tweets Bridge tunnel wrecks

[Zachary Earl @league_zach]

I’m
⚪️ Single
⚪️ Taken
🔘 The best there is, plain and simple. When I wake up in the morning I piss excellence.

[I'm From State Farm @JacobGuatemalez]

@HaniBa25 @K__Hump @alocker99

[Ryan Gilley @rgilley76]

I found the mask from the vine and put it on........ I deserve this

[757 Tweets @757_Tweets]

Busch Gardens charging $100 at Howl-o-scream to get scared to death when i can go to Norfolk and actually die for free

[I'm From State Farm @JacobGuatemalez]

Buns on guns 🍑💪

[Cloyd Rivers @CloydRivers]

Merica.

[javeigh @javeigh]

Watermelons are the easiest fruit to get disappointed by. So expensive, and If it’s not ripe then you’re left with this 10 pound ball that tastes like a weirdly textured cucumber

[Presidential 👑 @LowkeyMo_]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL WAIT FOR IT

[stephania @righttbrain_]

me:

IHOB employee:

[grace fisher @_gracellen]

Guys with abs- uncomfy to lay on, spend time at the gym instead of w u, pressure for u to look flawless, pecks bigger than ur boobs
Guys with dad bods- make a good pillow, always down for a burger, binge drink on the regular, usually funnier than the average male #teamdadbod