Jake Nazarian

no time to stall

[Vibranium Crack Pipe @CoviidCowboy]

If Paul George shot Tupac he’d still be alive

[JW @JWepp]

Back when 50 Cent and Floyd Mayweather we’re beefing, let’s bring these videos back to the TL.

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

@CaillerDave Well the Chik-Fil-A leaders all have a dump in their pants

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

Why does Chik-Fil-A not have a location in Boston. It’s outrageous

[Andrew Yang🧢⬆️🇺🇸 @AndrewYang]

If you succeed within a system it’s hard to see how fucked up it is.

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

Squirt guns are back

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

Parmesan peppercorn big time slept on. Deserves to be a tier 1 dressing

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

My mom bought a lakehouse and a boat solo. Had no idea how to drive it at first. Still has no idea but drives at way higher speeds now. Fuckin badass through and through

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

It is outrageous that 90% of “Emergency Exit Only” doors are totally safe and used all the time as shortcuts, but 10% actually set off a very loud buzzer that call the fire dept. and there’s no way of knowing except trial and error. Just a terrible system in play here

[Xzamilloh @Xzamilloh]

I'll be honest with y'all: One of the worst things I did for my mental health was getting a better understanding of how politics works.

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

I will go 7 figures without blinking

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

My grandfather turned 80 today so we did a family zoom with like 20 people. He logs on 10 minutes late to the zoom, immediately puts a Hawaiian Leigh around his neck and goes “LOOK GUYS I GOT LAID ON MY BIRTHDAY”

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

Just left a work voicemail while having my blood drawn. Talkin multiple needle sticks. Might have been the most stutter-filled, discombobulated voicemail in the history of the world

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

@erinregan17 Game on

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

Decided I’m gonna get into the gardening scene this year

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

I get off the T today and it’s a legit crime scene. Like caution tape with chalk on the ground. Ok. Then some oblivious mf steps OVER the caution tape unknowingly. ~0.002s later he has 5 cops up his asshole and has to give his name for further investigation. That’s a tough Monday

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

My family was gonna have a little picnic for Easter so we could all sit 6+ feet apart outside. My mom just EMAILED me saying she doesn’t want me to come anymore. And then she signed off the email with “Best Regards”

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

My family wants to play Never Have I Ever on zoom next weekend. I’m talking mom/uncle/grandfather/etc. Just an unbelievable situation developing here

[Kmarko @Kmarkobarstool]

I’m addicted to watching Dave open packages

[Jake Nazarian @JakeNazarian]

Apparently my grandfather has been wrapping his entire head/mouth in paper towels when he leaves the house. I need pictures of this like I need air