Jake Pelfrey

October's very own

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a warehouse store. A fully roasted chicken costs five dollars, the raw chicken beside it costs seven, and I stood between them like a man between two truths.

Golden. Hot. Seasoned. Spinning in glory under the lights, in a line of its brothers. Four dollars and ninety-nine cents.

I checked the raw birds. Seven dollars. Pale. Cold. You must do everything yourself.

This is not commerce. Commerce does not move backward. Somewhere in this building, mathematics lies defeated.

I asked the man at the counter. "How is the cooked bird cheaper than the raw bird?"

"Been five bucks forever. They keep it that way."

"But the store loses."

"Yep. On purpose."

On purpose. I held my receipt with both hands.

In my land, a lord who lowered the price of rice in a hard winter was remembered for generations. They built him a small shrine. This store does it every day, with chicken, and tells no one.

A woman behind me grew tired of my reverence. "It's just a chicken, sir."

It is not just a chicken. It is a wound the merchant takes on purpose, so that anyone, on any day, with five dollars, eats like a lord. The bird is the message. The price is the vow.

I will confess: I bought two. I did not need two. The second was not hunger. It was gratitude, and it was delicious.

Some prices are not prices. They are promises.

I return every week now. I take one bird. I bow toward the deli, briefly, so as not to alarm the staff. They have begun nodding back.

The vow holds. The bird turns. Five dollars.

Long may it spin.

[Scott @RandomHeroWX]

Bobby Cox throws a first pitch.

Ejected. 👍🏼

RIP legend ⚾️✝️

[Atlanta Braves @Braves]

Congratulations on an amazing career, Jesse! #BravesCountry will remember you forever.

[Atlanta United FC @ATLUTD]

Always Together & Loud 🏟️

@MBStadium has been voted the Loudest Home Pitch in @MLS.

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

The whole world wants Georgia to defeat Texas on Saturday

[Gamecock Kyle @Gamecock_Kyle]

Somehow this is true

[KanekoaTheGreat @KanekoaTheGreat]

.@TonyHinchcliffe: “The other side has a lot of crazy endorsements: Swift, Eminem, Leo DiCaprio, Beyonce. Every day, the Democratic Party looks more and more like a P Diddy party.”

“Hillary Clinton said this a Nazi rally today. The most anti-war President of my lifetime, and she calls him Hitler. Hillary, let me remind you, it was your husband who shot innocent people…or, as he called them, interns. By the way, if I commit suicide in three weeks, I didn’t.”

😂😂

[FOX Sports: NFL @NFLonFOX]

A look at @Saints and @AtlantaFalcons fans getting ready for Sunday 👀

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

The governor of California just made this parody video illegal in violation of the Constitution of the United States.

Would be a shame if it went viral.

[Mike Golic Jr @mikegolicjr]

No clue if the Chargers can win games but if they’re gonna commit to using a weapons-grade ginger to run iso all year then they have my sword and shield

[Ryan James Girdusky @RyanGirdusky]

Wages haven’t caught up with the inflation from two years ago, purchasing power is down, violent crime is still higher than it was before BLM, and most net job growth has gone to foreigners.

[🏔Adam🏔 @denverbitcoin]

Men only want one thing and it’s a $16k utility truck their Government won’t allow to be sold here…

[Not Jerome Powell @alifarhat79]

🎯🎯🎯

[New York Post @nypost]

Mayor Adams suggests migrants could fill NYC’s lifeguard shortage — because ‘they’re excellent swimmers’ https://t.co/bYIVv5UtTE

[Manchester City @ManCity]

Leading us to our first @premierleague title! 🏆

#OnThisDay in 2012, @VincentKompany scored this crucial goal to win the Manchester derby! 🩵💪

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Medieval peasant defending the honor of his wheat field after an arrogant traveling merchant called it minuscule

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Creed gets the boys going @StoolBackstage

https://t.co/VexPpvsIi1

[U.S. Ministry of Truth @USMiniTru]

🚨BREAKING: President Biden has directed the Department of Justice to begin an official investigation into who this "Jill" person is that keeps following him around.