Jacob Prucnal

“So can you believe how much I am in heaven?” -Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

My ad algorithm lately has been nothing but horrors beyond my comprehension

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

Hotel bar I’m at has 2 TVs. One is playing the chiefs victory celebration from Super Bowl LVIIIon loop, and the other is playing Transformers 4.

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

Gnocchi? You mean boiled tater tots?

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

Gonna make a website called TaxisMeet. com but instead of being for cab drivers, it’s for taxidermists and wet specimen enthusiasts

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

While you’re living rent free in their heads, I’m living rent free in their walls

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

@cat__paws Did they make you read yours aloud? Did you make up a new one on the spot?

[Silly Dee Williams✋🤚 @codyswilliams]

When I see Punxsutawney Phil after he ended winter https://t.co/KfDEJc2jKO

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

yeah she’s the love of my life but she’s also my big dawg

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

ain’t happening

[bb memes💗 @bbmemegirl]

Me looking at the first 4 boots of #Survivor45 :

[CBS @CBS]

@suRYvor CBS is anxiously waiting to see how this story unfold 🕵️

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

There’s nothing in the rule book that says a golden retriever can’t be our Speaker of the House

[We want brian back @wewantbrianback]

Last night on Family Guy, Brian Griffin died. Retweet if you want him back.

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

Of all the reasons I would have guessed the Barbie movie would be cancelled, showing the 9-dash line map was not in my first thousand guesses.

https://t.co/wUP8viQK2l

[“Matt” @cat__paws]

The real reason I’m leaving education is because one day I wore a bandana to cover my bad hair day and a kid called me the bikini bottom bandit as soon as I walked into the room

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

@crisp_bug Bailey heard the word “mudpie” and threw up, so I don’t think I’m getting her past the first episode

[Jacob Prucnal @Jake_Prucknowl]

First I had to be goated with the sauce, and now I have to be blessed with the rizz, and I just can’t keep up with these moving goal posts at my advanced age