cactus jack

Denny’s is for winners

[cactus jack @JamesTBosh]

Just took an ibuprofen and realized I’ve had a headache for the last fiscal quarter

[Janice Hough @leftcoastbabe]

Governor Evers, I was not familiar with your game.

[Justin Morissette 👊🏻 @JustinMoris]

Honestly incredible comedic timing on the explosion. Wile E Coyote level performance. The best thing a robot has ever done is kill itself.

[cactus jack @JamesTBosh]

@hankgreen did I do good?

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

Eating a big messy spaghetti dinner, slapping your own belly until you throw up

[cactus jack @JamesTBosh]

Local minor league baseball team in the dog house after scheduling fireworks show on the same night as bark in the park

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

For context on the air conditioning debate between the US and Europe...one must consult the ancient texts:

1. Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.

2. Anything that's invented between when you're 15 and 35 is new and exciting and revolutionary, and you can probably get a career in it.

3. Anything invented after you're 35 is against the natural order of things.

-- Douglas Adams

[l feII in Dior @LIRIO_AG]

“Ay no, tarjeta gris otra vez”.

[Laura Elliott @TinyWriterLaura]

i love things like this. people have always been people

[Caniacally🏆 @caniacally]

We do not count our chickens before they hatch.

We do not count our chickens before they hatch.

We do not count our chickens before they hatch.

We don’t think about the chickens. We’re in Fight Club protocols about the chickens.

We are a hog-based franchise. No chickens.

[cactus jack @JamesTBosh]

@ImFatPod Moved to the carolinas a couple of years ago, and I would trade EVERY Bojangles for one single White Castle within 500 miles of my house.

[Mak @mak_aura]

Whenever they talk about microplastics I just imagine this stuff floating around in my body

[spooky liz 🎃 @lizaboth]

“If you hate the president so much you should LEAVE!!” Actually I love my country so much I’m gonna stay here and loudly resist the fascist regime brought in by the president I hate so much but ty for your input

[cactus jack @JamesTBosh]

@shaynagoldman_ Highest plus minus of any bird in nhl history

[cactus jack @JamesTBosh]

@CHGO_Blackhawks Playoffs? Never heard of em.

[cactus jack @JamesTBosh]

@ImFatPod The GODDAMN CARAMEL APPLE EMPANADA is back (at least at my local store in North Carolina)!!

[cactus jack @JamesTBosh]

@dieworkwear Visually stunning, but as an anxious and clumsy person I cannot abide the lack of sturdy railings

[cactus jack @JamesTBosh]

@MLBONFOX @DaleJr @ItsBristolBaby @NHL winter classic at Bristol when?

[Steve “Dangle” Glynn @Steve_Dangle]

the existence of lebreton flats implies the existence of lebreton drumsticks

[Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr]

Reply or QT with some lessons (good or terrible) you learned from men other than your biological father.

In the 80s, My uncle was a dog catcher in Clarksdale MS. He would start his shift picking up a 4pc from Churches. He’d use the chicken to lure dogs in the truck. Once the truck was full He would cruise by wherever his supervisor was so his supervisor could see the full truck and think he was really out there working.

At the end of his shift, he would let the dogs go . The next day the dogs would meet him at the pick up spot. My uncle caught the same four dogs every day for five months until them people caught on.😂

The lesson : there’s always an easier way to do your job.

[Mel Brooks @MelBrooks]

I told you we’d be back