James Creelman

I keep my friends close and my enemies far away. Go ahead and buy my stand up comedy album at

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

Toys R Us kids never had to grow up but once the chain closes they will rapidly age and turn to sand

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

Hi Tom! I was wondering if there is any way to watch the "Phyllis's drawers" skit from the MTV days. I remember it only airing once and they replaced it with something else on the repeat. Did you get heat for that one? @tomgreenlive

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

Hi @WDWNT . I was at Magic Kingdom today and the People Mover broke down and had to be evacuated. https://t.co/UsD62wSn2U

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

I drank a bottle of Wite-Out I made a mistake.

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

Snow acts as Santa's own personal chimney and sleigh lube

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

@NickGrimesYT 😂. Who wants this stuff? "These six geese have been shitting on my floor!"

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

So with The Twelve Days of Christmas gifts I understand wanting Five Golden Rings but the rest of that crap is unnecessary.

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

The waitresses at Chili's are dressed up in costume it's almost like I was invited to a Halloween party 🎃

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

The best flavors of soda in order are
1. Mountain Dew Baja Blast
2. Cherry cola
3. Whatever Dr Pepper is
4. Lemon Lime
5. Cola
6. The remaining Mountain Dews
7. Ginger Ale
8. Orange
9. Root Beer
10. Grape
11. Zero sugar
12. Diet
13. Cream

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

@nickiclyne I like to think anything is possible but I yet to fulfill my lifelong dream of meeting a skateboarding blue alien 😓

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

@jadethedoob @Loudwire @DollarTree Nice! Did you end up finding any?

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

@tarohamtaros Appreciate that lol

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

I review 30 movies from @DollarTree #dvd #dollartree #mentalillness https://t.co/tikmnt60Zy

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

@Loudwire @DollarTree I liked em! A Life Once Lost being the best out of those. Will have a review of those later today on my YouTube

[Loudwire @Loudwire]

WATCH: Music fan stunned that @DollarTree sells rock + pop CDs: https://t.co/iMXukduH3a

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

@anachronofspace I wish it was Cru.

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

At the Flea Market I met a guy who claimed to be in the BMX movie RAD. #Radthemovie #RadRacing #BMX
https://t.co/TjdhkYnLOV

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

A review of #TheForeverPurge movie https://t.co/5Zm9SYWzWD

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

I scored hundreds of empty #PlayStation 2 game cases at public #Auction for 15 dollars. Weird they had they them. https://t.co/eJ0G5fJCou

[James Creelman @James_Creelman]

This is how you sneak snacks the movies. https://t.co/jtFJaGvYnf