Peter Martin

Jokes.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@DarkSideOfRing @VICETV You guys straight up forgot to post this for people that bought the season on YouTube. Wow.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@DarkSideOfRing @VICETV Hey dummies, it’s Friday now and you still haven’t put it on YouTube. What kindve a sloppy shop is going on over there?

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@DarkSideOfRing @VICETV Bought the whole season on YouTube. Why isn’t it uploaded yet? It’s midnight Friday morning. C’mon guys.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@jackhol09457975 @DarkSideOfRing @VICETV Honestly @VICETV we’re supporting you, but the feet dragging to upload the content as promised is frustrating.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@TheRealJPap58 @BauerOutage @RedSox C’mon @Redsox Johns giving you a Win/Win

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@AspersionCaster So cool to see my internet history actually hangs out.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@Grasshoper_30 Me to

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@Fightful @karenjarrett I mean…wasn’t this whole Karen/Angle/Jarret a storyline in TNA? If it’s that sensitive why was it broadcasted and sold as a storyline? But now it’s NOT okay to refer to? At all? It was on national tv like Maury.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

How about Comedian in Cars getting road head, but Jerry doesn’t tell his guest what the shows called until they get in.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@pattonoswalt Danny Devito is the dream cast for me playing Mario.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@BankofAmerica @CLTMotorSpdwy Ok ok… who here is saying anything good? This must be the most nightmare gig to open up a laptop and be the ‘Twitter guy’ for a bank. Damn bro. Hope the check is decent

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@adrianachechik @ChechikTv That’s terrible and I wish you the best. Your the goat. Your the Muhammad Ali of banging dudes that look like Michael Jordan. All the love in the world dude

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@MMAFighting The buddy cop movie we never knew we wanted

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

I dunno what the squatters rights are on escape rooms but it seems like a gray area. Any homeless person out there; I may have a place for you if you don’t mind sleeping in a bank safe with a globe and nerd with riddles or some shit.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

My buddy Evan wrote me a comedy bio that’s pretty good.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

The View is cumtown for moms. #theview

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

@TheBethPhoenix You suck.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

Tonya Harding being an ‘anti-masker’ is wild. If there was one person who’s life could’ve been better if ONE person at a certain time just wore a damn mask that’d make there life better…you’d think.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

I might never ever meet them, but I fuckin love your dog.

[Peter Martin @Petecomedy]

I want someone to make one of those painting of two lovers once again embracing in heaven, but it’s John Madden and Betty White.