James Jackson

Production Director. Writer. Video/Graphic Design/Podcast person. Tech geek. AFC supporter. Beer Enthusiast. Lover of Coffee, Poker & Scrabble

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@willnutley_ @FergusGem @easyJet Have a go at deleting and redownloading the app. My partner had to refresh hers and it worked 🤞

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@easyJet had a reply on a query on my flight that is due to depart Southend tomorrow that I had to wait until further details. I have received an email saying the departure airport has changed yet it still shows the same (SEN). Flight EZY5721

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@willnutley_ @FergusGem @easyJet Confirmed 👍

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@FergusGem @easyJet Hiya. Just got off the phone. I’m being told it’s being redirected to and from Gatwick (flight number EZY9721) and they will cover any transport costs incurred. This was also the same for my return flight too.

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@SouthendAirport Hi LSE. Any chance of an update on flights scheduled tomorrow? Flights are still showing as live but currently airport is closed until further notice.

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@easyJet Can you give any update information on flight EZY5721 scheduled from London Southend tomorrow at 06:30? Is this still anticipated to go ahead?

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

Has nobody else spotted Kier Starmer moonlighting on stage with @raye !?#Glastonbury #Raye #Glastonbury2025 #Kier

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@afcstuff @CBSSportsGolazo @Kratos_918

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@andyreed This screams vibes of the “we’re virtual experts” in the early days of COVID…

[Alby @AlbzSFC]

If you want to know what a man’s groupchat is like, our mate has been in hospital with his mrs expecting a baby, has been replying to us to say he’ll be home tonight to play on PlayStation, and it took us asking if the baby was born for him to say, oh yeah at 1am this morning

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

#TRIPLIVE What are the safer odds, betting on the presidential race, or the next England manager? #Alistair & #Rory

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

Anybody got an idea of what’s going on at #blackwalltunnel North tunnel? Standstill for close to an hour now….

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

I’m gonna give 10 random people that repost this and follow me $25,000 for fun (the $250,000 my X video made)

I’ll pick the winners in 72 hours

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@TheCinesthetic

[hardmaru @hardmaru]

This design is better than “𝕏”.

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

Fantastic event yesterday in #batterseapark well done @Enable_Events #Wandsworth #Eurovision

[James Jackson @James_R_Jackson]

@Casey @nothing Nice!