Not your smiling brown handmaiden

Perpetual tan lines and a bad attitude

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

Excuse me. I’m not a casual worker. I’m a vigilante worker.

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

And if you’re pasifika and polyhamourous you must declare yourself poly squared

[thereisnobeth @thereisnobeth]

polyamorous ppl need to stop calling themselves "poly" bc the number of times I've seen it in someone's bio and got halfway through thinking "oh I didn't realise they were pasifika" before realising is frankly embarrassing

[𝓲𝓬𝓮 @be_like_ice]

Me: asleep in bed “sightly adjusts leg”

My cat: the energy became incredibly hostile here. I’m just going to go…. Would rather sleep on the couch than deal with your disrespect.

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

oomf but it’s pronounced oneofyou mfers

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

@m0therbitch I’ll never a find a job in this town again

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

Fuck I love Trax

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

Legalise public transmogging

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

I thought Colin Farrel was in the new Spielberg movie but turns out it’s Firth. I would’ve settled for Powell.

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

Well it has now.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Has suiciďe ever crossed your mind? Be honest.

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

The Borough on Netflix is part of the Goonies universe.

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

We be reading your tweets like

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

Lessshgo Pakuranga Bakery

[its jex btw @beersmoker93]

this coles lasagne definitely has horse meat in it

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

I’m assuming field day organisers still got paid their money regardless and everyone should be happy because the system works. I’d’ve thought Labour paying money and not turning up is the type of hands-off centrism some people applaud. Hats off to the Chipster.

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

An employer shitcanning a current employee publicly is kinda the point of a union though?

[Christopher Bishop @cjsbishop]

Now imagine this is a top cop who suddenly decides he’s running for National. Does anyone seriously think Fleur would be issuing admonitions like this? The PSA should just drop their pretence of neutrality

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

Can’t believe we’re reverse 501-ing greyhounds

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

The Purge, but it’s just a couple of hours every financial quarter where driving under the influence is allowed.

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

@AceMcWicked GET A RAINBOW LANYARD MY MATE! You’ll be presenting slides at the brown bag lunch meeting in no time.

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

I like the bit in online political Twitter where everyone is just balls out hating people at a molecular level for exisiting. It’s so healthy for discourse and makes for a really persuasive argument.

[Not your smiling brown handmaiden @JandalLife]

@Chirald @PedagogyMaxima @fabiodeuxbeer If you BYO loaf of white bread to an eating establishment to make a sandwich of their food you should get a discount like you do when you bring a keep cup to a cafe.