Probably Adam

professional psychologist, casual bilingual, aspiring chocolate milk sommelier. he/him/his

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

Your muscles loosen immediately upon death, releasing any strain on your bowel and bladder. As a result, many people poop and pee when they die.

Anyway, here are my drafts

[TD @_tbeaux]

Leslie Jordan literally held us together during the pandemic with “Well, shit… what are y’all doin?!” 🥺

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

Using Gay Twitter to track @carlyraejepsen to DC like NORAD tracking Santa’s sleigh

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

Sometimes I leave my phone in the bedroom and don’t even notice till after lunch

Sometimes I spend over an hour watching Alien Superstar edits on Twitter

IT’S CALLED BALANCE

[Albert Jaragua Corado 🔻 @digitalurn]

That cop in Uvalde having his lock screen be the punisher logo and him being scared to take on an active shooter is truly the perfect encapsulation of how cops see themselves vs who they really are.

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

Pfizer
Pfizer
Booster
Another Booster
Monkey Vax

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

When Beyoncé says “jump” the proper response is “how high?”

[Jesse Cox @JesseCox]

Reddit user GetBillDozed has the best #StarWars idea I’ve ever seen and I’m outraged it hasn’t been made yet @starwars

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

Constant anger is exhausting but anything less feels immoral

[Burgess Everett @burgessev]

Senate adjourns for Memorial Day recess. Back June 6

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

This milk expires the same day as my 30s 😳

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

Celebrating Mother’s Day with MoM (Multiverse of Madness)

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

Tawaret are you free on Thursday night because I am free on Thursday night and would like to be your avatar on Thursday night when I am free

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

Half the girls here are dressed like Maddy Perez, the other half are dressed like Elle Woods, and some how @bway3rd is dressed like both

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

I knew this week’s Euphoria would basically be The Ember Island Players, but didn’t expect this cinematic parallel

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

Having a gay doctor is great because I can use cultural shorthand such as “the pharmacy where Town used to be”

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

I’ll stop solving all my problems with chicken nuggets when chicken nuggets stop solving all my problems

[JB 🐻✨🍉 @JBfromDC89]

my hope for the first five minutes of the new Jurassic World:

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

@Tophulton I don’t think I’ve seen a single backpack in this show. Maybe that’s why Rue was carrying her stuff in a suitcase, she hasn’t owned a backpack in years

[Probably Adam @JawesomeSaurus]

The best way to help the students of euphoria high is with increased funding for euphoria elementary