Jay Martin

[Losing it @prophethusband]

this is the best opening move in chess. simply take the rook and eliminate the opponents king, winning the game.

[Jon Bois @jon_bois]

phillies fans are in the streets burning their “77-85 regular season record” sweaters and furiously knitting “83-79 regular season record” sweaters. this is the difference one man can make

[a glizzy of earthsea @ICELEVEL]

Hey everybody buckle the FUCK up because I’m going to tell you about these baby shoes for sale (1/157)

[Wild Geerters @steinkobbe]

Some people are mad as hell because they can't post on rottentomatoes about how much they hate a movie they haven't seen

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Chicago Police Credit Their Extensive Experience Falsifying Evidence For Helping Solve Smollett Case https://t.co/wF3PDbHyOZ

[Rob @robrousseau]

liberals: 👏 get 👏 young 👏 women 👏 involved 👏 in 👏 politics
12-year-old girl: can we find a political solution that prevents my future from becoming an apocalyptic nightmare?
liberals: shut the fuck up. how dare you

[PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter]

Thomas Jefferson possbly never existed and all his good ideas and inventons were stolen from other people, except for founding a college that would go on to loose to a 16 seed in the first rd of the NCAA tournment that one was his https://t.co/fnA9sxSm8T

[squid @NatsSquid]

he walked right into it

[♥mark magark♥ @markedly]

If You See Something (a dog wearing a tie), Say Something ("hello handsome").

[Alex Gomez @_Alex_Gomez__]

roses are red
violets are blue
hugh freeze got a 4 star player
contact [email protected]

[Jay Martin @Jay125690]

@VinceMancini Don’t you dare talk about Joanie Pepperoni’s husband like that

[slick @dlicj]

i used to play basketball on an 8 foot hoop with a group of friends where one rule was if you smiled in the 30 seconds following a dunk your team lost all of their points

[Jay Martin @Jay125690]

@FanSince09 He said no sports movies

[scoob @MostCrucified]

young sheldon has unfortunately OD'd on fentanyl

[Jay Martin @Jay125690]

@IAmSpilly So much worse than any ketchup take