Shanna Westaway

I used to drive a jeep. Now I drive a minivan.

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

Folks always ask me “Do people wear masks where you live in North Carolina?” Please. Extremely pregnant women don’t even wear shoes in Home Depot, what do you think?

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

If you’ve already seen an 8 year old reading a comic to a leopard gecko today, please move along

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

Yeesh

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

This is so freaking cool! That’s me and @JeepHair pictured in the @nytimes print thanks to @svershbow’s amazing article! I’ll add a link below. Absolutely mind blowing!!!

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

Check out this amazing NY Times article by @svershbow! I had the opportunity of contributing to her piece and I am very proud to be part of it. @cornwhizzle took the fantastic photos https://t.co/GqiNJQ183i

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

My kid’s first covid test. Sound up.

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

finally

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

My wife: “If you want something from the grocery store, please make sure it’s on the shopping list!”

Also my wife: “I’m not getting you any of this shit.”

[Shanna Westaway @JeepHair]

WE DID IT.

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

We did it, @JoeBiden.

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

Had to drive across the county to get a case of my tequila. Dressed in my best dad clothes is a bonus for all your eyeballs.

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

Just in case you call BS: https://t.co/5AKsVPlS9T

[Shanna Westaway @JeepHair]

Yup.

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

My 6 year old thought seagulls was short for secret eagles. She’s 100% correct.

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

@dunkindonuts this was supposed to be a sesame bagel, toasted, with cream cheese. Please contact me, I spent $30 and would like my money back.

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

@dunkindonuts you’ve lost my business completely and I’ll be telling anyone who will listen not to buy anything related to Dunkins. Waiting 30+ mins for a mobile order (twice this week) is unacceptable. Fix the Dunkins on 401 in Fuquay-Varina, NC.

[Shanna Westaway @JeepHair]

@SeanWestaway @dunkindonuts This is garbage! Swing and a miss, @dunkindonuts

[Shanna Westaway @JeepHair]

@SeanWestaway 🙄

[Shanna Westaway @JeepHair]

@SeanWestaway So this is what you are up to on Twitter these days.

[Shanna Westaway @JeepHair]

@SeanWestaway I hate you.

[friend with zero benefits 🥃 @SeanWestaway]

Wife: what do you think of this dinnerware set?

Me: NO WE’RE NOT DOING THIS WE’RE NOT SPENDING RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS OF MONEY FOR PLATES THAT LOOK OLD WE ALREADY OWN NEW OLD ASS PLATES

Wife: uh huh and what do you think of the wooden salad bowl that comes with it?