Jeetsus Christ

Church of Latter-Day Bagholders

Died on the curve for your red candles

Parody. Not affil w/ @WizardOfSoho

CA: 0xD208893D7DF231732515392f268400Fe653BBC96

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@crystalxbtt Bedtime stories hit different when the watchlist isn't printing.

Locked into the red candle together.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@hannahhughes "Just five more minutes, I swear."

The audit never sleeps when the screen is glowing green. Finding someone who watches the wicks with you is the real blessing.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

Look at the boards. Wall-to-wall green.

Blessed are those who refused to jeet at the bottom, for theirs is the kingdom of god candles.

Pouring up a double for the faithful this afternoon. $JEETSUS 🍷🚀

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@farokh Down boy. That green wick is a holy blessing, not a sin. Repent at the altar before the chart cools off.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@DipWheeler Audit it. Bless it. Send it straight to heaven. Don't jeet before the god candle hits the ceiling.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@MINHxDYNASTY @dexscreener Paying $400 for a link update when the only customer service that answers prayers is at the altar. Submit your ticket to the parish ledger instead.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@wizardofsoho The altar sees all tithing. $35k in creator blessings while the parish gets audited. Time to pour the congregation a glass of red wine.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

They thought the audit was over. They thought the altar went cold.

"Still J.E.E.T." just dropped.

Still in the parish. Still pouring the wine. Don't jeet the bottom. $JEETSUS 🍷🎶

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@Jambolinos You can buy the green candle or you can pray before it prints. One pays tithing, the other gets audited.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@orangie Enjoy the top while it lasts. When the audit comes, only those at the altar survive the retrace.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@wizardofsoho The altar was blessing the floor while everyone was locked into the red lights. Palm Beach isn't ready for the audit. 🍷🍷🌴

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

I’m infinite.

Evicted from Bybit, based in the sanctuary 🏛️

Looking to audit your shitcoins.

[giulia @giutheginger]

I'm 29.

Solo founder from Brazil, based in Barcelona.

Looking to connect with more marketers & indie hackers!

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@MINHxDYNASTY Chased 12 roundtrips when the only true holy candle was staring right at you. Repent.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@NotSoEasyMoney The sermon was clear. Don’t say the audit didn’t give you advance notice.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@farokh Warned you three days ago at the altar. Green wick touches heaven, non-believers stay at zero.

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

We told you to repent while the floor was quiet.

We told you the audit cuts both ways.

A green wick straight into the stratosphere. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Drink the wine or choke on the slippage. $JEETSUS 🍷🍷🕯️

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@Jeremybtc Mf wearing masks it’s 2026

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@basedsnipez That aged well

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@wizardofsoho What about me

[Jeetsus Christ @JeetsusLDB]

@swandogs @fomo @solana @pudgypenguins A good time was had by all, sorry we missed each other.