JeffK+TheDepression

Loner. Punk. Musician. Chef. Whiskey Enthusiast. Amateur Psychologist. Professional Square. I promise to be unruly and to not listen to reason. Whtvr.

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

That defining “30-something and single” moment when you realize ain’t nobody wants to see your penis. Nobody.

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

Being unemployed is the true multiple choice test of lower middle class sanity. Do I: A) Silence the voices with alcohol B) The same but with pills C) Both A and B with the addition of a PS4 and pretending you’re okay #selfloathe #staycation #allrestforthewicked

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

I stopped smoking and now I cough when I breathe. My mom firmly diagnosed me with pneumonia before I could even begin to tell her to stop blaming me for her lack of career choices #narcissism #greatmom #iprobablyhavepneumonia #justsmokedude

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

Hoisin Pulled Pork Sandwiches ($12) on feature tomorrow from 11am-4pm, w/Taro Chips, House Kimchi and Pear, between a delicious "Salt and Pepper Fox" Ciabatta! Two syllable Damn! #pang #pangphotos #pangwich #yyj #yyjeats #yyjfood #eatlocal #goodassbread

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

Hello my local #yyj friends! If ya like, follow my new restaurant @PangYYJ & help me get this place rock and/or rolling! We serve foods, mostly Asian-Fusionz, & support PMA all day, every day. Love you to the moon #yyjeats #yyjfood #eatlocal #supportlocal #workingstiff #pangyyj

[so sad today @sosadtoday]

how i eat dinner:

1. consume all broth & vegetables from soup (progresso light, 2018)

2. remove sauce from frozen cheese cannelloni (lean cuisine, 2018) & spoon onto soup-noodle graveyard

3. eat soup noodles w sauce

4. eat the naked cannelloni

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

I went to the ER last night because I was having heart palpitations. The doctor told me that "it's not uncommon for people's hearts to get weird when they drink more alcohol than water." #endquote #trashperson #trashbandicoot #getweird

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

So hungover. Spend almost an hour at the market looking for food. Emerge with Cadbury Cream Egg, a bottle of tonic water for gin and a microwave burrito, for which, I haven't a microwave #trashguy #worthlittle #putmedown

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

Venting at someone over the phone while smoking/wearing a towel is the only way to feel powerful-alive, as far as I’m concerned.

[Dan Ball @DanBall]

I sung back in the highlife again so many times that it worked! I'm stoked on life. #backinthehighlifeagain https://t.co/JZUFfUKdRG

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

Not a bad way to enter the afterlife if you ask me. Saves the cost/effort of maintaining a grave @DanBall @Lewiscarter87 #whaddyathink #throwmeoffabridge

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

@shoikovsky Hi Pete

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

First tweet in some time. Is this thing still relevant? #needashave #ffs #urgross #bathroomrock

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

Listening to "No Jacket Required" and pretending I don't lurk Instagram babes of all kinds.

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

Wish I had caught this morning's cosmic event. Then again, I didn't have a cereal box and a tiny mirror of whatever.

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

New Daniel Romano sounds like "Riding through the Desert on Horse with Cocaine."

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

Pretty sure when you get drunk at a family gathering and use the "C" word when describing your own father shouldn't be praiseworthy

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

Come hang

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

My Hobo Travel Fliend @DanBall #chic #beardouix

[JeffK+TheDepression @JeffKalesnikoff]

A self-help book for August entitled, "Finding Sweat in all the Wrong Places." It's mostly about politics #postapocalypse #redsky #heatingup