Jeff Horning

Go Ducks

[Nick Adams @NickAdamsinUSA]

American alpha males celebrate their gold medal victory by jamming out to Toby Keith.

Canadian beta males will be celebrating their silver medal with a Taylor Swift singalong, but only after the land acknowledgement.

[Jeff Horning @Jeff_Horning]

@_RJS17 @hilucyleduck That would be absolutely horrible. Debris from the explosion would hit us, hitting oceans causing massive tsunamis.

[🦆 B1G Duck Energy 🦆 @B1GDuckEnergyy]

It actually signifies the number of points Texas Tech scored on Oregon today.

[Red Raider Man🌵 @redraiderman1]

Today is the day that Oregon is exposed on national television.

[Jason Whitlock @jasonwhitlock]

This is the job. Nothing happened here. A reporter was temporarily (less than 2 seconds) inconvenienced. The reporter doesn't deserve a Purple Heart. And people need to quit tweeting about this. Nothing happened.

[Jeff Horning @Jeff_Horning]

@alexinsdorf99 That’s awesome

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

Scottie Scheffler is such a great story.

Got out of jail, turned his life around and hasn’t reoffended.

The system works.

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

🚨 BRAKING 🚨

The Vatican has finally done the right thing and, at President Trump’s direction, elected an American Pope to be head of Christianity, Cardinal Gary Francis Powers of Chicago. America is the birthplace of Christianity, so this is LONG overdue

Jesus was a great American who literally wrote the Bible, and you know he’s looking down and smiling today

[Stewart Mandel @slmandel]

Life comes at you fast. One Saturday you’re getting your jersey retired, the next you’re tuning in for Day 3.

[Jeff Horning @Jeff_Horning]

@penishernande2 lol that is perfect

[Jeff Horning @Jeff_Horning]

@TCK_Experience Are we supposed to be fading these picks?

[Jeff Horning @Jeff_Horning]

@TCK_Experience This is truly getting ugly.

[Barry @BarryOnHere]

Tony Soprano:

Never cheated on his wife
Never swore
Never did drugs/alcohol
Loved animals
Legitimate varsity athlete

MAN OF INTEGRITY!!

[Will Compton @_willcompton]

This breakdown by @PKSubban1 on why the NHL has a better product than the NBA has me ready to die on the ice even tho I don’t know shit about hockey

[Rep. Mike Collins @RepMikeCollins]

I got laid off at USAID today. I was in charge of making the Taliban trans. Was really starting to make headway too.

[CFO, Big Cat Corp @VPBigCatCorp_]

Watching your son reach base on an error

[Matt Walsh @MattWalshBlog]

@DerekNeverFails This is so important and so inspiring. My cousin voted for Trump so I blew up his car and set his house on fire. That’s what he gets for choosing hate instead of love. I just wish he was compassionate and tolerant like me.

[Riley Gaines @Riley_Gaines_]

We are officially unburdened by what has been

Welcome back, 47

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

I am begging you to stop doing this