JemsD

Live for the moment as you never know what tomorrow will bring.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Ways to miss a delivery:

1. Leave the house for seconds
2. Go to the bathroom
3. Stay in all day and wait by the front door in silence
4. Open the delivery company’s app and press anything, thereby changing your delivery preference to “never”

[Mike Hudema @MikeHudema]

When we let nature be nature amazing things can happen.

Protect nature in all its forms. #ActOnClimate

#ClimateAction #climate #energy #nature #rewilding

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“No no, you three people keep walking side by side along the pavement, I’ll just step into traffic, don’t mind me!”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"Sorry" - Meanings:

1. Hello
2. I didn't hear you
3. I heard you but I'm annoyed at what you said
4. You're in my way
5. Sorry
6. I’m not sorry at all

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Things said in cars:

"Oh come on mate"
"What are they doing?"
"Don't indicate then"
"Look at this idiot"
"He's letting you go I think"
"After you then"
“Just go!”
“You could get a bus through there”
“Choose a lane!”
“Unbelievable”
“Clever place to park”
“You’re welcome!”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Phrases that mean nothing will happen:
Leave it with me
I’ll have a word
I’ll see what I can find
Consider it done
I’ll make some calls
I’ll think about it
Certainly a possibility
Let’s come back to that
Good idea
Maybe
It’s on my list
Might see you down there
I’ll look into it

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

How a Brit gets in a car in winter:

1. Get seated and immediately rub hands together
2. Say “bloody hell it’s cold”
3. Turn heating to full
4. Drive with cold air blasting on your face for ten minutes
5. Say “it’ll be warmed up by the time we get there”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Having absolutely no idea what to do with your face while people sing happy birthday to you.

[JemsD @JemsDreams]

@Pandamoanimum @KirstiJJ 🤣🤣🤣

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“I’ve emailed them”
“Have you tried ringing?”
“No, I’ve emailed them”
“Try ringing”
“No, I’ve already emailed”
“Do you want their number?”
“No, I’ve sent them an email”
“They’ll answer if you ring”
“I’ve just this second emailed”
“Why don’t…”
“STOP IT PLEASE JUST STOP”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“I’m off to bed” - Translation: I’m off to lie down and worry about the future and also to worry about every mistake I’ve ever made, no matter how great or small, and to go over all the embarrassing moments from my past that I’ll never ever forget. Night night.

[JemsD @JemsDreams]

@LincsFM Fuse 😍

[JemsD @JemsDreams]

@StevejMchugh So will I

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Things that have no calories
- Broken biscuits in a new packet
- Other people’s chips
- Midnight snacks
- Christmas food after a brisk walk
- Restaurant bread
- Cake

[JemsD @JemsDreams]

@Blazer_Bebe I grew up in Newark, Notts and we used it. In fact, I didn’t realise that it wasn’t a word that everybody used until I moved away at 18 and nobody else knew what I was on about 😂😂

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"Honestly... It's fine" - Translation: My brain is vibrating with pure rage.

[James B - The DIP Podcast @thedippodcast]

All these can be true at the same time:

1 - Wishing Captain Tom a speedy recovery
2 - Saying he shouldn't have gone Barbados for Xmas
3 - Acknowledging that the NHS shouldn't have to rely on a 100 year old to do laps of their garden for funding

[Yvette Cooper @YvetteCooperMP]

A message from the Government to the nation’s women and girls!!

In 2021.

Turns out 1950s sexism is spreading fast too.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Biscuit rule #1

When opening a packet, any broken biscuits must be consumed immediately.