ppl lack of accountability then say, “u could’ve talked to me” no, i couldn’t. u don’t listen. u deflect. u twist everything into an attack and then play victim. conversations with u aren’t healing, they’re exhausting. and honestly, i don’t owe my peace to someone who only shows up to win an argument, not to understand
🚨Being avoidant feels safe right up until you realize you’ve built a life where nobody really knows you. You get good at exit strategies. You master the art of leaving before things get messy. You pretend it’s noble – “I don’t want to be a burden,” “I just need space,” “I’m protecting them.” But it’s not. It’s fear dressed up like logic. It’s self-preservation at the cost of connection.
And the worst part is, people still fall for you. They try. They lean in. They ask the right questions and hold the door open. And you give them crumbs, a wink, a story with the sharp edges sanded down. Just enough to keep them near, but never enough to let them in. Until one day they stop trying. And you pretend not to care, but you do. You fucking do.
So yeah, one day you wake up – usually not from sleep, but from another lost thing – and you realize the only way forward is to stop flinching every time someone gets close. To say the scary thing. To answer the text. To admit you missed them. To stay when you want to vanish. Not once, not twice. Constantly.
It’s not poetic. It’s humiliating. Like dragging your ribs open and hoping they don’t laugh. But it’s the only way. Otherwise you’re just a charming ghost haunting people who tried to love you.
And eventually, even ghosts get lonely 😭😭