Jeremy Laden

Ready, Willing, and I think I can do this . . .

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@AllieGoertz NETWORK is sooooo good

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@DavidMascorro If you liked glass blowing, try Forged in Fire

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@realDonaldTrump is Dr. Evil with a hairpiece

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@Tiffanygreysen Because the mom’s maiden name was Getzoff

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@RonFunches @PasteMagazine @yusefroach @PasteMagazine is the absolute worst drivel

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@InstantAnxiety BarackRock

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@AllieGoertz And it took three less women to get it done, too

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

I purposely undercook a couple pieces of bacon so my kids don’t want it

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

I love when my kids tell me my cooking is better than their mom’s

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@WilliamShatner @Wiliam_Shatner There’s only one true Shatner!!

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

I think I’ve finally found my destiny as single hot dad

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@Tiffanygreysen So it’s like an open mic with 30 comics?

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

The worst part of getting divorced is buying new spices

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

There’s way too many cargo shorts at this little league game

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@WilliamShatner An iconic performance in a classic film - I’ve loved it my whole life!

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@Tiffanygreysen What can I say, I’m an innovator

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

Always get to the bar earlier than your date so you can choose a seat for your best lighting

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@SCannibalsBand Yer da King of da castle

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@Hylaeus93 Just walking around loudly muttering about sailor stuff

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

I’ve discovered people give you a lot of space when you walk around the grocery store practicing your Popeye impression

[Jeremy Laden @JeremyLaden]

@AllieGoertz No f$ing way