Jessica Kay

If you can't beat them, silently judge them

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma"

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

Just keep fucking

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

I don’t even know where to begin with the chaos of this weekend

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

The Guinness logo not being printed evenly on each side of the glass is actually frustrating

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

I have seriously got to stop giving out my IG and phone number on nights out…I don’t remember these people

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

It’s actually embarrassing when the bartender follows you out to make sure you’re okay

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

I knew this would happen and I still did it anyway

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

Really fighting for my life on a one hour flight and my savior was a can of ginger ale

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

I’ve never seen a 12 year argue about checking his bag more than this kid on a 5am flight

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

The way I take drunk karaoke so unserious

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

Finding out there’s a speakeasy in Stockton actually made me laugh. Like it’s not that serious 😂

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

Drunk me really sets sober me up for failure every time

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

Booking corepower classes while at concert💀

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

Was about to tweet that my roommate left mid convo but then I found her twitter…time to roast

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

To be a dog being pushed in a wagon

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

8pm work meeting got cancelled, happy St. Patrick’s Day🍀

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

Kane Brown proceeds to put out banger after banger. Man never misses

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

The biggest plot twist was the glasses being good not silver 💀

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

I can fuck down ribs any day of the week 😤

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

The way I know more line dances than the locals I’m with in Texas

[Jessica Kay @JessKay99]

I fear I’m not as good at pool as I thought