Jess

posting like I won’t have to explain any of this in court

[Jess @JessUresti12]

My best boi.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

Nothing hypes me up for the gym more that TikTok college football highlights. I swear.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

What people don’t understand about me is I’ve got a pocket full of sunshine AND a Glock in my ‘rari.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

Aggies.
River rats.
Trail runners.

Top three nicest groups of people.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

Only 8 Saturdays until I willingly gaslight myself into believing every ranking, every preseason hype video, and every “this is our year” tweet. Pass the beer. Play the War Hymn.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

Getting insanely hot so my boyfriend can admire the muscle definition while I shotgun beers at football games. Balance.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

GSG

[Jess @JessUresti12]

It is the most beautiful day ☀️

[Jess @JessUresti12]

What a wild turn of events this week.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

Mood.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

There’s fuckery afoot.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

May we all get a bit lucky today. 🍀 🇮🇪 🍺

(And may you split the G)

[Jess @JessUresti12]

“But at nighttime, when there was nothing to do, and the house was all empty… I’d always think of Jenny”

[Jess @JessUresti12]

Hot men in bucket hats 😍

[Jess @JessUresti12]

Alright. Alright.
That’s enough.
You can come home now.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

“I’ll never find someone like you.”

Yes darling, I know.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

“The important thing about regrets is looking at them deeply - because if the universe gives you a second chance, you take it seriously.”

[Jess @JessUresti12]

I. Love. St. Patrick’s. Day. 🍀

[Jess @JessUresti12]

This aged well.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

If me being at the game results in the Spurs losing, I will leave.

[Jess @JessUresti12]

Honestly just as shocked as you are about my 🍑 in that video.