Jessica Burnworth

[Jessica Burnworth @JessicaArial]

@DoorDash thanks for waiting 40 minutes to tell me my order was cancelled. I have had nothing but problems with you guys - I’ve officially reached my limit and won’t be using this platform anymore. #bye

[Chris Meloni @Chris_Meloni]

Today’s words of wisdom

[Jessica Burnworth @JessicaArial]

@KatieThum Thank you!!! 🥰

[Jessica Burnworth @JessicaArial]

I guess it’s our time! Being induced today 💕

[Rhett & Link @Mythical]

Uno or Oh-No?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

9-year-old: I'm not in the mood.

Me: For what?

9: Anything.

Same.

[ColourPop Cosmetics @ColourPopCo]

When I realize tomorrow is Monday

[Khloé @khloekardashian]

No one should be treated like this. Stay strong Queen!! You deserve better 💜🦄🌈✨💜 #FreeBritney

[Jessica Burnworth @JessicaArial]

Getting really tired of my @DoorDash orders always being wrong and missing things. What’s the point if I have to go back out and get it my damn self??

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

9-year-old: Can I pet that dog?

Me: You have to ask the owner.

9: I want to meet dogs, not people.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

8-year-old: Do I have to brush my hair today?

Me: Yes.

8: I can't live like this anymore.

[Jessica Burnworth @JessicaArial]

It’s a GIRL! 💖🎀🛍🌺👛👑 https://t.co/zUmXLwpVX3

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

6-year-old: When I grow up, I want a big house so I can have dogs.

Me: How many dogs?

6: Is there a limit?

[𝐋𝐀𝐖 & 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 @lawandordertv]

Has a single sentence ever broken you into more pieces? 💔 #SVU #OrganizedCrime

[𝐋𝐀𝐖 & 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 @lawandordertv]

Last night we celebrated Stabler. Today, we celebrate @Chris_Meloni! Show some birthday love for a Law & Order legend. 🎉

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

10-year-old: Why do people eat salads?

Me: They want to be healthy. Do you want to try one?

10: No, I want to be happy.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

8-year-old: When do you start feeling like it?

Me: Feeling like what?

8: A grown-up.

Me: I'll let you know.

[Jessica Burnworth @JessicaArial]

"If I am thinking correctly," said Pooh, "a new baby is probably, undoubtedly the grandest gift that could ever be." — Winnie the Pooh https://t.co/H2Do2a9BeM

[𝐋𝐀𝐖 & 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 @lawandordertv]

IT'S ALL HAPPENING. #OrganizedCrime coming soon to @NBC.

[𝐋𝐀𝐖 & 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 @lawandordertv]

Look who's back in action. 👀 #OrganizedCrime is coming to your screens soon. 📷: @Chris_Meloni