Jessica Riley

Aspiring Somm | Actor | Dog Enthusiast | Laughs at Own Jokes

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS! 🍾🥂Lol jk I spilled champagne on myself. #vegas

[Davey D @mrdaveyd]

I gotta be honest the worst looting I've ever seen take place happened a few weeks ago when corporations collected over 500 billion dollars in stimulus money while everyone else was left with a $1200 dollar check and having to decide if they pay for food or rent..

[ghost beef 🍉 @tortillablanket]

voting in 2016 vs voting in 2018

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Look what happened the last time you didn’t vote.

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

Told a horrible woman over email to “have a nice day” instead of my usual “have a great day!” and that is the extent of my electronic passive aggression. #goingoutinablazeofglory #fearme #customerservice

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

@ReginaBDuBois Can confirm this is true after 2 years of tech support. 💀

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

@sarah_dee16 I screamed at her glove flying away. I was not ready for this.

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

Replacing my hair ties with velvet scrunchies feels, I imagine, much like entering the space-time continuum.

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

Guess who’s back? Back again. Not slim or shady. Ok maybe a lil shady. https://t.co/4l4p8ZzQUn

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

I really keep forgetting I have a twitter.

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

“I don’t date baby biters.”

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

My version of hell includes drinking jägermeister. #RIP

[Lin-Manuel Miranda @Lin_Manuel]

You're going straight to hell, @realDonaldTrump.
No long lines for you.
Someone will say, "Right this way, sir."
They'll clear a path. https://t.co/xXfJH0KJmw

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

How do people fly sober????? ¿¿¿¿ Or better yet, WHY would you do that.

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

Getting "additional screening" every time I go through airport security is really killing my dreams of becoming a super spy. #atomicredhead

[Lin-Manuel Miranda @Lin_Manuel]

My son wrote a song called
"I Just Want To Eat Bread Now."
I knew he'd surpass me but not so SOON.

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

I think if we band together this can be the generation who ends use of the opening "To Whom It May Concern". #yeswecan

[Jessica Riley @JessicaNRiley]

All I want is someone to bring me food and sing beach boys songs. Bonus points for a good singing voice.

[Rogue NASA @RogueNASA]

Trump said we’ve never seen anything like this before. ON. THE. ANNIVERSARY. THAT. KATRINA. HIT. NEW. ORLEANS. TO. THE. DAY.

[Lauren Duca @laurenduca]

Everything is a fucking excruciating letdown except maybe dogs and wine

[Emily Annette ❁ emllyannette.bsky.social @emllyannette]

rt if ur ok with cancelling christopher columbus day https://t.co/umWcaKKHA5

[Emma Ward @Emma_The_Ward]

Chameleons are fun cause they'll grab anything you give them.