Drunk Jesus

Don't take it offensivley, I just like to get drunk. I am not the real Jesus, nor am I affiliated with the real Jesus.

Phillipines 4:13

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

I mihgt be a little bit tipsy tonight. Autocorrect can only help so mich. Oh well, Bless you all #goodbight

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

I'm planning on visiting CMU this year for sure. Need to party with my Chips @CMUBeerChug @CMUslops @CMUPartyStories #FireUp

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

@CMUPartyStories wiz khalifa is a father.. That's the craziest story I've heard all semester

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

Having a good night with my boy @bigern3001 , this kid cares as much as Jesus wants to save #JesusDrunk

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

Bless the Albion fam for partying hard as a D3 school. And a special shoutout to a future frat fag @chris_wilson65 #partyhard

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

"Drunkover"- To be in the state of drunk and hungover at the same damn time. Solution? Drink more

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

Gahhhh! That's that shit I do like

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

Where the fuck are all of my blackout drunks at

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

@MSUpartystories this should be your twit con

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

I know break is ending for most of you college kids. Get dru k and stay safe. Actually don't stay safe, cause then you can join me up here

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

Who in the right kind would put this much snow down... Me bitches. Guess I did it when I was blackout, oh well have fun bitches

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO ME

[Al Smith @BigAl525]

Merry Christmas everybody! Happy birthday Jesus! Happy day off Jews!

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

20 minutes till the ultimate rager

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

@jozerities2 get drunk by your self #pussy

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

Hey guys. Jesus is sailing right now. Who's coming with me? #getfrunk

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

Bless all who attends Christmas services. After it, call me and let's get schwasted #drunkwithhumans

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

Couple more days till I'm fucking dying of alcohol poisoning, who's with me? #christmasparty #drunkasfuck

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

I'm about to get turnt up on Christmas #drunk #mybirthday #fuckbitchesgetmoney

[Drunk Jesus @JesusDrunk]

Wtf. The world didn't end and I'm pissed. Now I have to get plastered by myself. FUCK YOU MAYANS #DRUNK