JewThings

Instagram: @JewThings

[JewThings @JewThings]

@ShaneLowryGolf OUCH

[JewThings @JewThings]

I need Rose and McIlroy to both have phenomenal days #TheMasters

[JewThings @JewThings]

I’m this old

[JewThings @JewThings]

Happy Irish Christmas to all who celebrate

[JewThings @JewThings]

Everyone pretends they’re Irish on St. Patty’s Day, Hispanic on Cinco de Mayo, yet no one wants to be Jewish on Yom Kippur.

[JewThings @JewThings]

Do you know a “Rachel Schwartz”,
or were your parent’s friends exciting?

[JewThings @JewThings]

Now???

[JewThings @JewThings]

Waiting for the market to crash so I can buy everything I want (with rizz)

[JewThings @JewThings]

Just a latke stuck with you mushy potatoes…

[JewThings @JewThings]

Does this exist?

A Baaaad-cast (podcast 🐐) where the hosts bring on the GOATs in their respective areas.

I’m sure it exists, I just love the name

[JewThings @JewThings]

As a tennis player, I take back my years of negative thoughts and opinions about pickleball. I played for the first time this weekend and it turns out I’m old. It was wonderful.

[JewThings @JewThings]

Which is worse?

[JewThings @JewThings]

New leaked Drake video

[JewThings @JewThings]

Stay safe, family.

[JewThings @JewThings]

If anyone else asks why I smell so good, I’m gonna have to be honest and tell them it’s @PooPourri

[JewThings @JewThings]

“THE RUMORS OF MY PEOPLE ARE TRUE”

-@jtrain56

[JewThings @JewThings]

It’s silly that sweatpants aren’t standard attire for work. I sweat the most when I’m working my hardest. ITS RIGHT THERE IN THE MAME!

[JewThings @JewThings]

First Drink:
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech Haolam, borei p'ri hagafen.

Fifth Drink:
Barack attack, I dunno
Elaine Ew, Melancholy Syndrome, hooray please my coffin.

@ASAP_ROFFE #CHUGsameach

[JewThings @JewThings]

CHUG Sameach 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

………or whatever it is

[JewThings @JewThings]

What’s a fun way of implying you’re Jewish without saying you’re Jewish?

[JewThings @JewThings]

My order is simple. I stick with the basics. Everything bagel. Lox. Guilt.